I had my chiro treat me for this. Sometimes he thinks I ask him to do things that are beyond his capability, however I have tremendous faith in what he can accomplish. If it doesn’t work, no harm is done, so I tell him to give it his best attempt. He thinks, and then tries something. It usually works the first time. :)
Mind, body, emotions, they are all connected. To me it makes sense that if he can treat me for muscle memory about a fall, that he can also treat me for a memory that is not helping me. He is beginning to realize that he has far more ability to fix things than he thought. It’s a win/win for both of us!
I was running errands and made a point of talking to a few strangers. One lady had a lovely blouse on, so I mentioned how nice it looked. Another lady looked like she was having a rough morning (this was at the doctor’s office) so I mentioned that things would get better. She was happy to talk to someone and I can tell she appreciated a kind word. And I spoke with some people at the Farmer’s market.
I would like to make a subgoal of complimenting 5 people a day. Why? Because by talking to a stranger and thinking of something nice to say to them, it gets me outside my head. Plus, most people are thrilled to have someone say something nice to them! And it helps me realize that sometimes I might say something that is awkward, however even reaching out to another person means I am taking a “risk” and that if my intentions are positive (and they always are), that the only thing that really matters is that I made the attempt to make someone’s day better. :)
The more I realize that what I do is not who I am, the easier it is to accomplish this goal. It’s all about not focusing on me, instead focusing on what I want to accomplish. If it is to have some fun, then that is what is important. If it is to push a boundary, then that is what I concentrate on. Since I do not have any control over what people think, then worrying about it is silly. It’s the effort that it took to get to this point that was REALLY the goal.
It can change your life once you stop worrying about what people may think. There is a lot of programming that we are raised with, to keep us from doing things beause “other people” may not approve. There are certainly social values that I would not break, however that is because of my personal values. And there are some people at work who are experts at trying to control people using guilt and fear. Now that I am aware of their games, I don’t care what they “think”.
Am I done with this goal? Not really. I know that there are areas or cirumstances when I will fall back into the worry pit. That’s OK because I will recognize it and move on. The important lesson from this goal is that it is fine to do things that are different, or draw attention to yourself, and it makes life more interesting.
You don’t like my (fill in the blank)? Too bad, so sad. I like it. :)
When I added this goal a year ago, I had no idea how I was going to accomplish this. My idea was to put myself in uncomfortable situations and just endure. Instead I found some great tips on the internet about how to overcome worry and I used those tips to make progress. Now, while I can’t say that I am done with this goal, I certainly have a lot more skills I can call on when I start to worry about other people.
I want to dance in public and not be self-conscious. I want to sing in public and I do when I am riding my scooter around town. Public speaking is not a problem. Nor is meeting new people. I give myself a B+ on this goal to date.
I have come a LONG way since I started working on this seriously last October. I remember many of the events I wrote about, and feel good with the progress I have made. What I have also realized recently is that FasterEFT is giving me the same results. By removing the emotion from a memory, I stop caring what other people think.
My pink and black vans are worn often. I also bought purple shoes, and red tennis shoes. I wore my Cat in the Hat hat on the 4th of July and had several positive compliments. I am not so concerned about changing my ways, most of the time it goes unnoticed by others. All of this is healthy reinforcement that I do not need to worry about what other people think. :)
Because if I can post them on 43Things with a group of supporting and understanding people, then I can let go of the fear/pain that they carry with them.
Forgiving other people can be easier than forgiving oneself. I think I have done fairly well not hanging on to emotional baggage however I know there are still areas where I could let negative emotions go.
When I was on vacation I found a purple fedora with sequins. It was inexpensive so I bought it since I like purple. I wore it the other day to run errands. I think that people respond differently when I wear the hat. They look at me but don’t say much. I am tempted to try an experiment where I wear the hat someplace and then return a short time later and see if people act different.
I will wear it to work, that should cause someone to say something…
The best part about this was that I didn’t worry about what people might say or think. I just wore the hat. Huge progress for me!!!
Doing things that are out of my comfort zone really helps with this. I wore another hat to work today, and even wore it out to lunch. There were some people from work at the restaurant, but I didn’t care. And my friend was making fun of my hat, later on he tried it on! It looked really good on him as well since it was a tan fedora. He mentioned that he wished men could wear hats. I suggested that he start wearing one – since it really suits him.
We’ll see if he is up to the challenge. My guess is he won’t since he is VERY concerned with what people think. How unfortunate.
I feel good about this goal. I can see how much progress I have made, and that makes me very happy. :) I am going to leave this goal on my list for a while, as a reminder to focus on what’s important – and what is – instead of what “might be”.
Time to go out and challenge myself outside of work.
Here’s to progress!!