take better care of my friendships

I have been fortunate in my life to have some very good friends. The friends have changed through the years and through the stages of my life. I have also suffered some very serious betrayals. These betrayals have taught me to wait in new relationships to check out the underlying agendas. I want to know if a relationship will be reciprocal. Can I ask as much of the other as they ask of me? Can I say no without an emotional blast? Can I protect my personal limits and still be present to my friend? I know that my marriage relationship died because we were so busy doing “good deeds” that we stopped being friends. Although I sometimes wonder if we ever really were friends. We are both first born rule freaks. I choke to say that we were probably approval junkies. I have always known that goal setting was important. I never took the time to do it before I joined this list. Thank you 43Things. I have learned so much from all of the wonderful people here and from the simple “cheer”. All of my goals have come out of this goal, because I have learned to be my own friend. “What do you need today?”; “How are you feeling?”; “Is there something special you need today?”; “I’m so sorry you have to go through that today, I’ll be thinking of you.” and “Do you need a pretty hankie?”. Thank you 43Things. Life looks good.

I went to the funeral today of a 22 year old young man that died tragically in an automobile accident. The comment made over and over today was how well he took care of his friends. He was always there for them. He remembered to call them. He remembered birthdays. He suffered with them. He laughed with them. No one could ever remember him talking badly about anyone. Everyone in his immediate circle of friends thought they were his best friend. There were over three hundred people of all ages at this young man’s funeral. Inspiring.