compile a 100-things-about-me list

Last week I spilled a glass of water on my desk. The water dripped over the edge of my desk onto my pc and all of a sudden – puff ! black screen , pc gone. ( It’s my third pc for this year… )
This morning I was waiting for the bus on the sidewalk and got a handfull of coins out of my pocket and they slipped from my hand and fell in the gutter. I had to pay a bus transfer worth 2 ½ EUR bus with a 100 EUR bank note. The bus driver wasn’t happy.
Just now, here at the office, I was updating my cv in order to apply for a job some place else. Instead of pressing Ctrl – S , I pressed Ctrl – P , and guess who found my updated CV on the printer ? – of course ! our line manager ! He must be asking himself questions …

are Shostakovich, Bach, Beethoven, Mahler, Schubert, Stravinski, Mozart, Webern, Schönberg, Luciano Berio, Edgar Varese, Frank Zappa, Miles Davis, Felah Kuti, Billie Cobham, Bohannon, Jaco Pastorius, James Brown, Jean-Michel Jarre, Jean-Luc Ponty, Emerson Lake and Palmer, Genesis ( before Phil Collins had the stupid idea to start singing ), Phillip Glass, Herbie Hancock, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, ( I used to like Metallica, AC/DC, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Sepultura, Panthera, Tool, … and so on , but I lost my interest in this music when I was about 21, I like to rock every now and then but nowadays get bored after 5 minutes… there’s something Neanderthalesque about it which I dislike… but ! there’s one band which I still like – System of a Down – the guy’s a great singer ), …

but right now I’m into electronic music and I have a collection of about 400 vinyl records, it would be useless to list them all since my collection will soon be available @Discogs.

are : DH Lawrence, Chekhov, Dostoievski, Celine, Bukowski, William Burroughs, August Strindberg, Louis Calaferte, E.T.A. Hoffmann, William Carlos Williams, Goncarov, Gogol, Lermontov, Turgeniev, Guy de Maupassant, Virginia Woolf, Jack London, Mark Twain, James Thurber, Edgar Allan Poe, Jean Cocteau, Antonin Artaud, Hugo von Hofmannsthal, Rainer Maria Rilke, Lord Byron, Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Homer ( if ever he existed) , Aeschylos, Boris Vian, Euripides, Marc Aurel, Horace, … ok, enough now … low memory…

I hate Christmas. It’s such a stupid tradition. Like those silly little decorations are going to change anything. First , it’s just a cheap trick to make people buy , buy and buy some more. And look at what they want ! They want to buy, eat and drink themselves unconscious, and the kids they want to HAVE, – Oh if you’re a good boy, you get a present ! It’s like teaching a dog a trick ! Go get the stick and I’ll give you a sweet. Ah, I’m sorry… but I could live without Christmas.

I wanted to become a poet. I never left home without my Rimbaud, my Baudelaire, or my Blake. I tried absinthe, pot and lsd and learned to look unhappy all the time. I did nothing else in school than scribbling and getting stoned. I sat in the back row in class and never paid attention in maths, chemistry and physics but in literature, French , German, English and Spanish I was an ace. I wasn’t bad in history, philosophy, arts and sports, but I wasn’t interested. In fact I was good at everything I didn’t have to study for. My most glorious rating was an essay I did on the “Odyssey” which the teacher read in front of the whole class. Unfortunately it was a optional course which didn’t count in the overall rating. The poet thing vanished when I got addicted to money…

I tend to forget everything and sometimes I repeat myself. I have a poor sense of orientation, and I get lost all the time when driving. Sometimes when I’m talking to someone while thinking about something else I forget what I wanted to say in the first place. Even though I never find it difficult to express myself in writing in several languages, there are days when I just can’t find the words I’m looking for when talking to someone. When I get upset I always miss the basic arguments and say things that weren’t supposed to be said. It happens regularly that I sit in the train on my way to work trying to remember whether I switched off the iron , the coffeemaker, the lights in bedroom or if I closed the front door. I forgot my mother’s birthday last year. I’m always late for 9 o’clock departmental meetings because I keep forgetting to put myself a reminder. Sometimes I’m on the first floor doing something and walk down the stairs to the ground floor and when I arrive there I don’t remember why I wanted to do. And there’s a lot more examples …

I was bitten by my own dog once when I was nine. Ever since I fear them. I don’t trust them. I don’t hate them but I don’t like them either.

I could eat sushi until my stomach explodes. With lots of wasabi and pickled ginger. My favorite !

Yes, no God, no Aliens, no life after death and no supernatural phenomena.
You are born, you live, then you die and disintegrate.
I will not elaborate further because religious people tend to be very intolerant in this respect.
But let me tell you : GET REAL !

That was 5 years ago. I fell in love with C. There was something inexplicable about her. After three months she broke up with me and I felt like I was amputated a limb. She was too young then, and I was too old. ( I was 23 she was 18 ) For years after that I dreamt about her regularly. I had two or three girfriends after that but none worked out. I kept comparing every woman with her.
Last year we met on Christmas eve and spent another one and a half year living together. Then I realized I didn’t love her anymore, after all. Now we’ve been on and off about 7 times during the last 5 months and I dislike her more each time. It’s not that I hate her, I can’t understand it myself. Right now I feel like I’m dried out. I don’t even want to love.