Stop picking my lips

I still pick my lips. I’m doing it right now, in fact. I have had no success at all for more than a few days. I no longer believe there is a magic cure. Nothing works. Everybody thinks they know the answers, but nobody comes up with anything I haven’t tried.

I’m trying a whole new approach. Instead of saying I’m just going to quit RIGHT NOW, I’m cutting back. For a month, I only let myself pick once a day, and now I’m trying every other day. It’s difficult on the days I’m “not allowed” to pick, but by reminding myself that I only have to wait until tomorrow, I’ve been successful for about a week now. Once that gets easy, I will try every third day, and then every fourth day, then once a week, then not at all. If I gradually cut back like that, I’m hoping by the time I completely quit it won’t be that challenging. Here’s to hope!

I have deffinitely been picking LESS since getting my bottom braces on. I don’t know if that will last. It just hurts all my inner lip kanker sores when I try to move my lip so I can pick it. Once those heal up, I don’t know if the braces will continue to hinder me. I’m still trying very, very hard not to pick AT ALL, but I have slipped up and forgotten, or just gotten downright desperate, a couple times. Still no word on that hypnotherepy CD, and I keep forgetting to try that distraction technique my mom showed me. (stupid ADD) Anyway, I’m still trying. Hopefully I’ll make it.

Well, Sunday I picked my lips worse than usual. They weren’t even bleeding, but they hurt so, so bad. I couldn’t even stand to touch them. That made me seriously think about trying to quit again. Then, I got my bottom braces put on. I’ve had the top one’s on since Febuary. The bottome one’s sorta prevented me from picking much, because at the moment, it hurts to move my lip against them, even something so mundane as talking hurts. I did pick them right after, but since then I haven’t been able to pick my lips without hurting the inside, and it’s kept me from it. I have actually tried several times to pick, and given up because it hurts. I only hope that once my lip grows used to the braces, I won’t start up again. I am going to take advantage of this opportunity to try to stop for good. Also, my mom used to know a guy who made inexpensive hypnotherepy tapes, which she used to lose weight, and it worked. She contacted him to see if he could make a tape for lip picking, and she’s waiting to hear back from him. That will be great, if he will do it. I have more faith in that idea than any other, right now. My mom also showed me a trick she used for weight loss, a series of tapping and humming and eye rolling that’s supposed to distract your brain from whatever you’re craving. I haven’t tried that yet, but when I do, I’ll let you know how it worked. If it does work, I may post the technique in an entry so other people struggling with this can try it. Anyway, that’s all for now. I’m hopefull again.

I picked my lips again earlier. In fact, I’m still kinda going at it. I told my mom everything I discovered about lip picking, and how I’m not alone, and she got on this sight and read everything I’d written, and she told me she never knew what a big deal it was to me. I didn’t really want her to feel sorry that she never took any action over it. I know she would have if she’d known, and I don’t know if anything she could have done would’ve changed it anyway. This is such a stead-fast thing. There is almost no way I can see to stop it. It must be possable, because my brother did it, and I’ve seen entrys from other people who did it. But I can’t help thinking, “yeah, but I’ve done it longer than those people.” “It’s more ingraned for me.” I don’t know if that second one is true, but I feel that way. I feel like, if somebody was able to stop, they weren’t as addicted to it as I am, and that probably isn’t true. The truth is, they probably just had more self-control than I do. I was also reading about the “transe” people get when picking. I hadn’t really thought about it, but I do have a tendancy to zone out, and when I really look back, I think I was picking my lips every time I’ve zoned. So maybe that isn’t something that happens to me every time I pick, but every time I zone out, I’m picking.

I just put on more of that avon moister therepy stuff. It burns. My best friend’s husband told me the other day that I’d be a very attractive person if I’d just quit picking my lips. I told him, “I know. I can’t.” He asked if I’d given up. I said, “I don’t know.” That’s the truth. I want to believe that having some kind of support group could be the magic touch, but I’m still going at it on a daily basis, then comming on here and being like, “well, I did it again.” That’s like going to confession with no intention of stopping any of the things you confess. It’s pointless. But I don’t want to give this up, because it was like a magical balm to find out it’s not just me. I just don’t know if I should keep posting here, and keep it a top goal when I don’t fully believe I’m capable of quitting. This will be one of those goals that never gets completed. And when I think that way, I start to wonder what the point is of even saying I’m going to stop, or I want to stop. If a large part of me has already given up, I probably can’t, just from thinking that I can’t. I would like to think possitively, and to tell myself I can, but I have failed so many times. Over, and over, and over, and over. I try, and I fail. I try again, and I fail. I try one last time, and I fail. Since I was ten, I’ve gone through this cycle of constantly trying to stop, and constantly failing, until I can’t help but say, “It’s just not possable. It can’t be done. I will always pick my lips.” I’m afraid, though, that I will get some kind of cancer or some other disseas from picking. I would always curse myself for it if that happened. Who’s to say it couldn’t? There probably hasn’t been enough research done for them to know.

I don’t know what else to say, except, if I decide to try again, I’ll post again.

well, I didn’t have a rubber band, so I used an elastic hair tie. It didn’t work. I was, at one point, picking my lips while repeatedly snapping the hair tie on my wrist. If anything, I think it made me want to pick more, because every time I looked at the hair tie, I thought about it. So today, I am hair tie free, and trying to think up a new idea to use. Any ideas?

I haven’t picked my lips today…yet. Yesterday I tried really hard not to, but ended up picking them bad while I was falling asleep. That is the most dangerous time, because in that half-awake state, it is really easy to forget what you’re doing. A friend of mine gave me some avon moisture therepy lip balm, so I am trying that, but only using it right after I pick. The reason I’m using it after is because that is when my lips need the most healing. Also, it hurts to put it on right after I pick, so maybe that will make me not want to as much. Right now, I have those scabs you get when your lips are trying to heal. The wierd ones that you can push down, and they’ll stay there for a while, then pop back up. I don’t like those, because they make me want to touch them, and if I touch my lips, I’m one step closer to picking them. I read somewhere about a rubber band trick. You wear a rubber band around your wrist, and every time you have the urge to pick, you snap it. I think I would have a permanant red spot on my wrist if I did that, but I might be desperate enough to try. Honestly, quitting picking is like trying to quit smoking while constantly holding a lit cigarette. Your hands are always there, and you lips are always there. That’s all you need. It’s as easy as putting your hand to your face. Somebody else suggested cutting you nails as short as possable. I did that once, but I found ways to pick anyway until my nails grew out. I may try again, in conjunction with the rubber band. Maybe that will work. I’ll let people know when I try it.

I tore my lips up today. They hurt. I made them bleed alot. Stupid, stupid, stupid….WHY CAN’T I STOP???

Well, I made it almost two days. That’s pretty good for me. And I only bled in the corners of my lips, which is also pretty good. I held myself back from really tearing into them. Now, I will start again with trying not to, just like always.

I have been doing some research on this “habit”, and found out it’s more than that. It’s a form of OCD called dermatillomania, which litterally translates to “skin-pull-madness”. Very accurate. It mostly affects females, which I am, and it seems most of the people posting on here are, and it usually affects the face, which is where the lips are. I feel slightly vindicated, in that I’ve always said “I have this bad habit”, when explaining it to people, and now I realize it’s not a bad habit. It’s a dissorder. I’ve been doing this since I was very young, probably at least 2 or 3, I can’t remember. I don’t know what triggered it. I do believe it’s genetic though, because my aunt does it, and my brother does it. I also have thought, even before I knew this was a form of OCD, that I might have some kind of OCD, because I’m obsessed with things being even. For example, when I was a kid, I stepped in a puddle of mud with one foot, and had to walk back around it so that I could step in it with my other foot. I’m glad to know I’m not crazy, and glad to know I’m not a lone sufferer. One of these days, maybe I’ll actually be able to quit doing this. I’ve thought about seeing a hypnotist, but I can’t afford that right now. I will figure something out eventually. I refuse to resign myself to this horrable compultion.