get married

He got a better job. He went from working part time at Randalls to being a full time state vehicle inspector. Now that he’s making more money, maybe we’ll be in a better possition to think about things like marraige and kids.

My room mate told me he’s been mentioning more often that he needs a better job so he can marry me. My one qualm is, why isn’t he telling ME that? Why is he saying it to my room mate and NOT me? Does he want to surprise me in the future, or maybe he doesn’t mean it, and doesn’t want to get my hopes up, but wants my room mate to think he’s taking care of me? Or maybe he thinks I already know? I need to talk to him, before I drive myself nuts with questions…and the big question. If he proposes, will I accept?

My boyfriend recently asked me what the point of marraige is. He said, “We are together, and neither of us has any intention of leaving, and we both know that, so what’s a piece of paper going to prove?” I couldn’t think of any argument at the time, but I have one now, so here it is:

Firstly, from a purely unreligous point of view, marraige is less expensive. When applying for an apartment, you only have to pay for one application fee. when filing taxes, you can file jointly, and usually get more back.

Second, what if one of us were to die? If we aren’t married, and he dies, I have no say whatsoever in what happens to him, unless his father is kind enough to take my oppinion into consideration. If we are married, I will have the right to say, “This is what he wanted”, and go for it. And of cource I’d take his father’s oppinion into consideration. I would feel obligated to. He raised him, after all.

Third, and this is religous, I would like to be a full member of my church, to be able to take communion. I can’t do that, so long as I am having a physical relationship with somebody I’m not married to. I can’t just stop having sex with somebody I’ve been with for 4 1/2 years, so to be able to take communion, and go to confession, we need to be married in the church.

I used to dream about my wedding. I would have dreams about him giving me a surprise wedding. (which I’d have to kill him for, if he did.) More recently, I’ve had doubts, because he did say he wouldn’t marry me, but when I expressed my doubts, he said he wasn’t against marraige, and then kinda blew me off by saying we have more important things to worry about right now. I have hope, however, because he said something to my room mate about needing a better job because I want to get married. My only concern is, in light of all my doubts, if he were to ask me to marry him, at this point, I don’t know what I’d say. I think if he can learn to keep the room clean, that would prove to me that he’s serious. Here’s hoping.