Penny Avon is doing 22 things including…

Let go of the past


 

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Penny Avon has written 1 entry about this goal

Introduction:My Story

Hello, I am going to tell you a little about my self. I am a 33 year old, Army wife, and Mother of 6 beautiful children, 5 girls and 1 boy.

In 2005, I had a real rough year. It all started in May, well That’s where this story starts at least.

First my husband had surgery, then re-injured himself moving into our new home in Tuscarrawus County, Ohio, and lost his job because of missing to much work. As a result we lost the home we had been living in for only a few months.

I went to Children Service & JFS before we got to this point and told them we needed help. They told me “You are not an AT RISK family.”

At the time we had no fridge, no propane, no trash pick up, and could not get anything fixed. The landlord said he was switching to all electric when we agreed to move in but didn’t.

I told Children’s Sevices & JFS, I was not from that county, and I did not know my way around or have anyone for support. My husband was on 3 different pain medications and was pretty much in a veggie state for 2 months. I had no one to watch the children so I could go get a job. When I asked for help with child care and Children Services & JFS told me I had to work for 6 weeks before they could provide child care. I went on a few interviews but when you have 4 children in tow they kinda frown on that. I could not find work, child care, or help from any where. Children Services & JFS showed up at my door 2 days before our eviction. That’s when we were at risk.

The plan was that we were going to go to my parents house till we could get back on our feet, but my dad was out of town on business and my mom was in the hospital at the time, we will come back to this. Children Service said this was not suitable living arrangements and that I was not to leave the county. I told them I had no choice and that I could not find work or another place to live. They said I wasn’t trying hard enough.

Children Services after 3 months of me asking for help, stepped in and took are kids. They made promises that they never came thru on. The agreement was they were going to help us get into a new house. They would pay for first, last, and security for any house in that county if I signed my kids over to them. Which was my only option at the time. We had spent all of our saving moving and taking care of things, like diapers, while my husband was down.

The day after CS took the kids my husband found a new job and my brother-in-law had joined with us to get a new place. So now we had income. We were sleeping in our mini van because we were not allow to leave the county and had no where else to stay.

2 days later we found a house, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, next to the library and a park for $650 a month. We got all the information to them and I was so excited till I was told “We can not justify that kind of expense.”

WHAT? Then came the first of the stipulations. You need a 4 bedroom, “Okay, That’s alright we keep looking.” and it has to cost less the $400 a month including utilitys.

WHAT? How am I going to find that? There is no such thing unless it is a whole in the wall, rat trap that I would not let my kids look at never mind live in.

We kept looking and in only a few days had found several nice houses, but not in their price range. We had to come up with our own money because they were not going to pay like they said they would. This should have been my first sign that things were not going well.

So they took the kids, not because we did something wrong but because we were in a bad situation.

You may be asking, “Wait, you said 5 kids that is 4?”

My oldest Daughter has lived with my parents since she was a year old. I was a single mother in that circle,(can’t take care of your kid without working, and can’t work and take care of your kid). I was a young mother, 18 when I had her. My first husband walked out on me after 6 months of living together. Came home on our one year and said he was movin back home with his mom and dad.

So back to the story, I said my mom was in the hospital. She was on dialysis from diabetes, got a sore on the bottom of her foot which got worse and worse to the point of gang green.

6 days after Children Services “Officially” took the kids, I was on the phone with my mom. She did not sound well and was kinda talking in weird sentences, slurring, and gibberish. So when the line kinda dropped, I could hear her talking and breathing but she was talking gibberish and her breaths where raspy.

When I couldn’t get her attention I hung up and called back. The Nurse that answered said she was already on the phone to call back in a bit. I told the nurse, “Ya, she’s on the phone talkin to me.” I demanded that she go take her vitals, and check on her now there was something wrong. She kinda gave me attitude for a moment and put me on hold. Then , she came back. “Your right, I will have to call you back.” was all she said before the phone clicked.

At this point I am freakin out. Called my Dad’s cell and filled him in on what I knew. Got in my car and drove the 160 miles, almost 3 hours in rush hour, to Medina, where my mom was. On the way up the nurse called back and said, “It is worse then we thought I need an authorization to amputate.”

Oh, that’s perfect. I got to call dad back now. ‘Cause I was not comfortable making that decision on my own. Got a hold of dad. Which was a short conversation due to the fact the nurse called him less then 5 minutes into us talking. So I let him go and continued driving.

As I got to the hospital my phone rang again. Dad, “I gave the permission. Mom’s going to surgery in a half hour.”

I was there so I went to see her before they took her in. She looked at me and said, “Theirs my baby. How are you?” Um, no. what’s going on with you. She said “I got to tell you something. come sit.” I sat on the bed next to her and held her hand. She didn’t even look like herself any more.

“Do you remember when you were little and I had the dream about the peg leg?”

Okay,This is a story in itself. When I was like 9 years old, mom had a dream that she had a purple peg leg encrusted with jewels. She said it was because she didn’t want the kids to be scared of it. Though she didn’t know who the kids were at the time. She said the room was full of kids. So yeah I remembered. It was a little weird then and still is today.

I shook my head, trying to hold back tears. I don’t like hospitals and seeing here like that upset me even more.

The last coherent words my mother said to me, “Hun, those were your kids. I dreamed about them before they were born but thats not all of them you will have more.” She smiled at me and kinda went limp, at the that time the nurse came in and said that they were taking her now that everything was prepped.

They explained that she had a reaction to the antibiotics they had givin her and the infection had spread faster then they had though possible. They were going to take off her leg right below the knee so that they could make sure they get all the infection out. She had had a stroke since she had been in there because the infection was so bad. That’s what happened while I was on the phone with her. That is where the gibberish came from. She lost brain function.

So I updated dad, who said next flight he was on his way home, and told me to go to the house and take care of our family dog of 10 years and told me to get the spare key, which I didn’t know he had or I would have taken my kids there first, and to stay there that the nurse was going to call the house phone when she was out of surgery because I was closest and my cell phone had one bar left. So I did and I sat there, and waited.

Call came in 5 hours later, she’s out and doing fine we moved her to I.C.U. You can come see her tomorrow, we want to get her meds and everything in order first.

So I didn’t sleep much and 9 hours after his call Dad came home. He picked me up and we went to the hospital.

We found out where she was and went to see her. They had her on a moving bed, it is a bed with rollers in it to increase blood flow for those who can’t get up and do it them selves.

She didn’t even know we were there. She had a morphine drip and was still talking gibberish. She stayed that way for most of the time she was in ICU.

There was one time she talked about a gold ring on the floor. Mind you she was 4 ft off the floor on her back so she really couldn’t see the floor and this is the conversation…..

Mom
Oh look. Hey!! Hey!! Pick that up.

Dad
Pick what up?

Mom
The Gold ring .

Dad
What gold ring?

Mom{Getting agitated}
The one on the floor.

Dad
What?

Mom
Asshole, pick up that ring and put it in your pocket before some one else sees it.

Dad{Trying not to laugh because she was staring at the ceiling the whole time}
Where?

Mom
Right there next to your fucking foot!!!! Pick it up now.

Dad {bending down and pretend to pick up an invisible ring}
Who’s is it?

Mom{ Folding her arms on her chest}
It don’t matter ‘cause its mine now.

Yes, this was the conversation and was hilarious to watch. My Dad busted out laughing and said he was going for a cigarette.

A few moments after he got back, Mom started grabbing at the air in front of her face. The she yelled at me to stop dangling the string in her face, I was across the room at the time.

Dad asked what string and she just continued to grab at the air. Telling everyone to stop it. Yelling at nurses that they were doing it and to get it out of her face.

This went on for about 20 to 40 minutes till dad said there was no string and she was seeing things. She dropped her hand real fast and said I know I was just fucking with you. Laughed , curled up, and said, “Good-Night.” and went to sleep, It was 10 am.

6 days went by and she wasn’t getting any better. In fact she was getting worse, but they moved her to the stable wing. Even after she had 3 more strokes and 4 heart attacks in the week she was in ICU. I think they gave up on her and wanted to get us out their hair.

2 days later, while my dad was down stairs calling my aunt, as I sat holding her hand and talking to her My mom Died. On Sept. 4, 2005. She was only 60 years old.

So against Children’s Services advice I moved in with my dad. Which they later praised then recanted again.

I got a job waitressing at Denny’s the day after my mom died. They asked me when I wanted to start and I asked for a week. The manager said why so long so I told him and that we were having a wake in Canada with mom’s side of the family and we were having the funeral after that. He couldn’t believe I was at an interview. He told me the interview was over to come in by the end of the month to start.

So we head to Canada, with my mom’s ashes tucked between me and dad. On the way up I heard a song I will never forget because I just bawled right there at the rest stop.

In my Daughter Eyes By Martina Mc Bride

From that day on, this has been the song that makes me think of my mom.

We had a good trip. No problems. Till we got home and the neibor came running over before the Van was parked.

Remember why I went to Dad’s house to begin with? To feed our family dog. Yeah, while we were at mom’s wake the dog died. The neibors sons buried her in the back yard for us.

So lets recap, shall we?

Surgery {MAY 15TH, ‘05}
Injury {MAY 20TH, ‘05}
Lost Job{MAY 25TH, ‘05
Lost Kids(AUG. 28TH,’05}
Lost House{AUG. 31ST, ‘05}
Lost Mom{SEPT. 4TH, ‘05}
Lost Dog{SEPT. 6TH, ‘05}

SO YEAH I THINK I WENT THRU A LOT IN A LITTLE BIT OF TIME.

AND MY STORY WILL CONTINUE. NEXT WILL BE ALL ABOUT CHILDREN’S SERVICES AND JFS.



 

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