lose weight

152 today. got a little out of control when dealing with the poison oak. i don’t feel too guilty though because at least i ate healthy food but a tube of raisins and box of dates are still very high in calories and sugar even if they are natural foods.

today i ran out of dates and i’m low on raisins and the poison oak is finally getting better (thank you steroids! – don’t worry that’s actually what they prescribe to bring down the swelling)

so i am getting back on the wagon, ate a grapefruit (hopefully that’s ok with my meds???)

I weighed myself at the gym and it was 161. at home I am usually 151… so that is dissapointing. to be a healthy weight according to my BMI I should be 149. that’s where I want to be. So I probably need to lose about 11 pounds (I can be 160 if I don’t eat or drink before getting weighted and wear light clothes and no shoes… which i usually do when going to the dr’s office.

how to lose 11 pounds? already my joints are sensitive…

i guess just exercise more, eat better… and allow myself to lose it slowly. i get angry a lot for the weight i gained because of my bipolar but that’s life… oh well.

well it’s really hard losing weight with also trying to rest my tendonitis but i feel like it’s 2 steps forward 1 step back kind of situation where if i can get my tendonitis totally healed then i can get back to exercising and losing weight.

as long as it doesn’t turn into a 1 step forward 2 steps back situation.

i want to keep stretching a lot, eat healthy,

this might sound gross but it’s a really big deal to me so i’m writing about it. i went to dance class today and i was noticing my stomach under the yoga pants i was wearing. it just kind of looked cute! I’ve never really thought that about my stomach before, it always looked too big or like it was hanging down or saggy or something. but today it just looked round and like it was sticking out in a cute, sort of feminine way. it didn’t look big or like it was hanging… just sort of round and feminine. i think i am getting close to the weight i want to be. my face looks like the shape i would like it to be too. i wish my weight were distributed differently (i think most people do…) but as i continue to lose weight i will be happier with my body. it’s amazing how much more satisfied i am with my body and with myself and i move forward on this weight loss journey. i think definitely part of it is the better health but a big part of it is also just building the willpower to exercise, take care of my body, eat right (pay attention and have rest days, which become surprisingly hard to do…) and then it also becomes desireable to take care of the body in other ways too…

but my health is important overall, paying attention to mental well being and spiritual health.

:)

thanks 43things for being such an inspiration and continual support.

ummm… i have been working on this for SO LONG… but i think i am still making progress. i am feeling kinda tired and frustrated lately, but i have to keep trying. it’ll be worth it in the end.

Why do they have a scale at the gym? I’m already at the gym. Put the scale where I need it: At the bakery.

-johnny steele

i just watched part of an episode of extreme makeover about this woman who was 355 pounds and then she lost a bunch of weight. i didn’t watch the whole thing, but it was really intense…

it really shows how dedicated you have to be. you have to focus on your health

:)

strawberries
melons
(fruit salad!)
turkey sandwiches with whole wheat, mustard, lettuce tomatos, avocado, sprouts…
cesaer salad with grilled salmon or chicken and parmesan cheese
soups.
sweet potato
oatmeal
kale with bacon and dates and garlic and onion
turkey soup with white beans and kale
cashews
tea
local honey
cinnamon
apple sauce
grilled steak salad
rotisserie chicken salad

my neighbor came over and the first thing she said was, “wow, you’ve lost so much weight!” that made me feel good :)

I am out of plus sizes! size 9 in juniors it’s true baby! I bought some shorts yesterday because ALL my old shorts from last summer were too big and I could literally pull them down over my hips without unbuttoning them.

so: shorts shopping, at Ross, and bought some new shorts in the Juniors dept. size 9!!

i think this is my first time out of plus sizes in my entire adult life (due to gaining 100 lbs on lithium at age 19 thank you very much pharmeceudicals)

not to mention a chubby teenage life as well…

but omg so awesome to be size 9 again… AAAAHHHHHhhhhhhh feels great!

:)