live instead of exist

I live so much inside my head. I saw it as a means to escape, but I went too far. I daydream too much. I let it take over my life, Everything that happened in my life turned into a scene inside my head, how I would make things different. Its so hard to stop. I cant live inside of my head anymore, And it hurts even more to know that I will never be those things that I am in my dreams…

I actually think about this on a regular basis. I know im 17 but i feel like i have wasted so much of my life. I dont know what to do after college and i feel so lost right now. I want to live and not be another person, I want to change the world and help people. I want to leave my mark on the world in a good way and i feel like god has a great purpose for me. I want to live instead of exist and it might be monthes or even years but i promise i will do this.