improve my writing

people adding this goal are interpriting the meaning in entirely different ways. Some are referring to penmanship while others are reffering to their ability to compose good pieces of literature. Some are reffering to perfecting their ability to covey something verbally- not audibly, but using the written word- and others want visually appealling handwriting. I think these are two extremely different goals. I myself am referring to being a good writer. My penwomanship doth suck very much, but I’m okay with that. I just want to be an artist with the written word- a verbal artist. I’d love to be good with drawing (visual art), as well- which I am not- but as far as the way my writing itself looks…. well, as long as someone can read it, I’m more concerned with what it says, rather than how it looks.

I know this isn’t about improving my writing, exactly (since it still sucks), but I wanted to share- I’ve had a couple ideas for a story for awhile, but couldn’t fgure out where to go with the ideas. The night before last it finally occured to me that I could combine these ideas, and suddenly things seemed more fleshed out and I had more direction. Yet, it also brought up other questions and I’m still undecided on an ending. Also, I know it isn’t the most original thing. I would love to have an extremely individual and unique piece, but it is difficult when so much has been done before. I also know that I won’t be able to write it very well, but I suppose I can try. I was excited about fleshing it out more earlier, but now I am already feeling depressed and disheartened about it. I am asking myself, “Why bother because you know it will suck?,” and it was just a short while ago that this much progress in the idea for the story had made me excited and given me renewed hope that I could actually make it into a story.

So…...this man wants to see my poetry. I am an idiot. I truly am. I like this person as a friend and I have the opportunity to be conversing with him, but have avoided doing so for a disgustingly long time because I am so scared to show him my poetry and I promised I’d send it the next time I emailed. I’m ruining a potential friendship over fear and embarassment and insecurity. Darn insecurity. I need help. I feel my writing is mediocre, but how can I know it it is at least decent enough to show him? Also, it’s difficult to know what is the best thing to send him. He’s really talented and his friend (whom I’m also acquainted with) shared some of his poetry with me and blew me away.

I don’t think I’ve even written an entry about this, yet, but it’s one of my top goals that I have listed on 43things. I have wanted to be an author/poet since I was a very small child (before I could read to myself, I think), but I personally feel like my writing is mediocre. Although, as one woman on this list said, I intend to make this a continuing goal and never cease trying to better my writing, at the moment, I really want to focus on it, so I’m leaving it on my list. By improving my writing, I mean my writing skills, not my penmanship or penwomanship or whatever you wish to call it. Personally, as long as it’s legible, I’m not that concerned with how it looks, but rather, I am concerned with what it says and how it says it. That’s not to say that attractive looking writing isn’t nice, but I’ve pretty much come to accept that my writing will forever look like it was done by the hand of a kindergarten student, and it isn’t really all that important to me, so it’s alright.