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Phantom_Mermaid in Kentucky is doing 41 things including…

identify 100 things that piss me off

5 cheers


Phantom_Mermaid has written 37 entries about this goal

#51. Pap smears with No Endocervical Cells

So…...I got my results back from the gynocologist. Now, it isn’t like I enjoy doing this sort of thing, anyway, so I’d like to think that I actually did this for some other reason. Yet, when I got my results back after it says, “Good news” and all this about how they see no signs of cancer, it says I need to repeat this in six MONTHS because there are “no endocervical cells”. Basically, it got botched. So, translation, “Good news- there are no signs of cancer in your pap smear because we screwed it up, and wouldn’t know if you did have cancer or HPV or Trich! Now, you can wait the next 6 months NOT knowing and then repeat this procedure much sooner than you would need to do it again, all because it got messed up. You went through a gyno visit for NOTHING and we expect you to pay us for it!” Good news my random explitives! According to some sites this “no endocervical cell” thing doesn’t necessarily mean bad results. They said you could still see abnormalities pretty well, but I’m still upset. I really have no idea if this affects the std test, the cancer test, or what. I really didn’t know these tests could mess up like this. I’m ticked off. F*-k!

Remember #30? Agressive Hospitality?

It was, “When people act like they can’t take their eyes off of you because you’re going to steal something even though you aren’t doing ANYTHING to make them think it.” Well, this happened to me AGAIN just recently and HARD CORE this time. I actually called management who did nothing really, and didn’t act very concerned, though she attempted to feign caring as she went on and on about “Agressive hospitality,” which I informed her was ANYTHING but hospitable.

So, my two friends and I were at the same store that jumped me and J last time. Also, the store that jumped J when he was alone and whose personel (some of them, at least) admitted to discriminating against a certain race and nationality, is a diff. branch of this same store.

I’ll go into details later, but to make a long story short for now, NO ONE had taken anything. No one had put anything that didn’t belong to them in their pockets or purse. No one had done anything all that suspicious. However, we were followed around the store VERY obviously by an older lady and the people she recruited. As soon as we left the section where we first caught her eye, security was immediately called to the next section we entered and we were eyed by security, the old woman, and another lady she recruited. She continued recruiting and everyone was staring and whispering and I called them out, but they kept up pretending not to be there. I waved at them, pulled my pockets out, and opened my purse to offer them a look. The old woman was everywhere. I got upset and called management and was told agressive hospitality was their policy and we weren’t singled out. I said we absolutely were treated differently because security was not being called all over the building. I know because they call them over a loud speaker. They were called as soon as we left the vicinity where we were first eyeballed, for another area, and they were called right then to that very area we’d migrated to. I said I saw the same woman following me everywhere and she sure as heck had no time to watch anyone else while she was eyeballing me that intensely. I didn’t mention she’d recruited others, but I should have. Just so ya’ll know, when I say she was everywhere I was I don’t mean she was there five hours later, either, she was like a trail of toilet paper stuck to my shoe. The woman even came by to eyeball while I talked to management, but she was a little behind then. Management turned down my offers to search my purse, my jacket, and my pockets- which I would have felt violated if forced, and somedays would not have felt comfortable offering, but at that moment I loved the idea of volunteering (forced would still feel violating) to show them so I could cram it in their faces that they’d stalked me for nothing. I didn’t know at the time that someone had whispered something about looking in my purse, but my friend told me later. If I had known, I wouldn’t have offered to let them because force is a diff. matter- especially when they had nothing on me. The manager asked me if I’d purchased the stuff in my buggy already or not- which I believe was some cheap shot. I said I had not since I’d been watched even in the check out line and was fed up, so I’d left the check out lane for customer service. Despite what she said about me not being singled out, when I left the store, my receipt was checked, which I don’t think they normally do at that store. I thought POSSIBLY it was due to Christmas season, but I am almost positive other people left without having it checked AND the woman then looked in my bag to make sure that was what I’d purchased. I am almost certain they didn’t do that to other people because I am nearly positive that I saw them leaving without being checked at all. I know it isn’t their usual policy, and I don’t think they are really practicing it now. I wouldn’t have purchased anything, but it was a gift, so I didn’t want to put it back. However, from now on- I will go back in that store when hell spews forth on Earth and the only ticket to salvation is in the bowels of the store.

I am so sick of them holding the victim responsible-

They are trying to kill this young man for killing someone in self defense when he was 17. Apparently, a group of men surrounded them and started verbally and physically assaulting them and one man pulled out a weapon and beat this boy and his friend with it, so this boy fought back and killed his attacker. One of the men who was in the attacking group admitted that they had assaulted the boys and that they had no way to escape and he understood why the boy fought back. Another eye witness also said they could not have escaped. They still want to kill him within a month. You should help out and sign the petition-

#50. As Someone Else Said- "Good Girl"

I was actually thinking of listing this earlier, but I wasn’t here to post it and I had forgotten about it until a recent post by someone else (that I just noticed, actually) reminded me of it.

This person was talking about how saying this phrase to someone was talking to them as though they were a child. They’re right. It’s demeaning.

A particular situation that drives me mad is this- have you ever heard someone say the phrase “Good Girl” to a woman in labor? I don’t actually watch the childbirth episodes on t.v. because the pain and anxiety of the women on there makes me nervous. However, I have seen clips of more than one were someone will say “Good girl,!” to the woman. Three things comes to mind.

1. It’s like they’re talking to a child. It’s deameaning. This is true in general, but let’s talk about it now in the case of a woman having a baby. She’s a woman and she’s doing something that although natural, is difficult to do. It can be rather stressful, painful, etc., and it can take a lot of struggling to get that baby into the world. So, why do you address her a child?

2. How does what she is doing make her “good”? Or more accurately, I should say, would doing otherwise make her “bad” or “less important”? If she wasn’t having a child would she be bad? Is it her duty? Or perhaps she’s a “good girl” for handling the pain, stress, and labor so well, or maybe she’s doing such a good job listening to the doctors orders or pushing the baby out good. So, that begs the question, would she be a “bad girl” if she was not dealing with the pain, anxiety as well? Would she be a “bad girl” if she was struggling to get the baby out? Would she be a “bad girl” if she didn’t listen to all of the doctor’s orders, even the unecessary ones because she disagreed with them or was emotionally distracted? Because if doing these things make her a good girl, I guess she’d be less good if she didn’t hold up to those standards.

3. What in the heck?! Are you talking to a dog? Good girl is something you say to a dog. Honestly, if a dog understood good English I’d say something more respectful to it during labor than “good girl,” too. I wouldn’t say good girl to the dog because I thought struggling would make it a bad dog or because I thought not having children would make it a bad dog. I’d say it to the dog because “Good Girl” is a common phrase used when praising a female dog and “Good Boy” is commonly used when praising a boy one. It is normally said in a soothing or excited tone, but always a pleasant one. Since the dog is accustomed to hearing this phrasein other circumstances when it’s being praised and hearing it in a pleasant tone all of the time and possible accompanied at times by petting and treats, it might find the phrase comforting. Therefore, I could see saying it to a dog in labor. Also, saying other words, but using comforting tones would also work well. However, this reasoning does not work with human females. I never would have considered “Good Girl” to be something I’d want to hear when I was in a stressful situation, a painful situation, or when I am an adult.

I don’t like hearing the term “Good Girl!” in general since it sounds like the other person is talking down to me and not praising or thanking me for whatever I did that made them pleased with me. However, it’d be really loaded in a delivery room because of all of the other things it makes me think of (the implication that doing otherwise would make me bad and the dog connection) combined with the fact that it sounds like you’re being spoken to like a child. If I was having a baby, someone talking to me like a child would make me even more angry then it normally would, actually, because while you may not be any less of a respect worthy person if you don’t have a child, if you get through pregnancy and labor, you have done something that is a difficult process and that needs to be respected. Talking to someone like they were a child in the midst of that would just amplify the insult. Also, since I’d already be nervous and in pain, I’d be even more volatile. The nurse that says this to me, even with good intentions, might get a face full of my fist.

I know it is sometimes done with good intentions, so if you’ve done it without realizing the possible intense, emotionally loaded, negative connections, that doesn’t make you a bad person, but keep these things in mind the next time you start to say this to someone- especially a woman in labor.

Please Read This One. It's about Mercy, Judgement, and a woman whose life hangs on the line.

People have said to me that even if she’s innocent of the crime she’s sentenced to die for, they don’t feel sorry for her having to die. A few people actually said this to me about this woman and it pisses me off that people could be so cold and judgemental of people they don’t even know just because they did somethign wrong when they were 17. She is now 20.

This woman is sentenced to die for a murder even though there is no forensic eveidence that she commited the murder. The murder happened when Delara and a man she knew, were trying to commit a burglary. Her country of Iran had agreed not to sentence minors to death. Since the man was 19, she says she origionally admitted being guilty of the murder at his request, in an attempt to spare his life. Since she was a minor and he was not, they thought he would be sentenced to death if he admmitted guilt, while her life would be spared if she took the blame. Now she is on death row.

Now, I don’t know who commited the murder and it was indeed tragic. I am sorry for this woman and her loved ones. Still, I am also sorry for Delara and her loved ones. Her loved ones that will have to watch her die are innocent. Also, without any forensic evidence to show who the true murderer was, I do not think Delara should be judged as guilty. It is perfectly plausible that she might have lied to save her friend. What she has said may or may not be true, but it is plausible and has not been disproven. If what she says is true, then it would seem to me that her only crimes were attempted robbery at 17 and lieing to save her friend from execution. I don’t see how someone who wasn’t involved in this in an intimate, personal way, someone who didn’t have emotional biases due to that, could not feel sorry for her as she faces death. I think she deserves some mercy. I am not supporting the murder at all. It was a horrid tragedy and a terrible crime. I am not even supporting theattempted burglary, although I don’t think trying to burglarize someone makes you a compeltely horrible person, especially if you did it at age 17 and you are now 20. If you agree with me, here’s what you can do-

1. Sign The Petition To Help Her at-

2. Spread the Word so others might sign by verbally telling them, sending out emails, posting to boards, posting myspace bulletins, etc.?

3. Join My Goal On This

4. Add her to your top 8 Myspace Friends at-

5. Post a Myspace Bulletein about her?

For those that are interested there is also some information on Delara, as well as info. on Nazanin who was spared is at and you can find some of her art online. You can also write to her. I think her address can be found on the helpnazanin site. If not, I know it is on one of the links I’ve given you.

Two more questions- Do you care and what do you think?

#49. PLEASE READ! When people want to punish the victim-

Please sign this petition to stop a woman from being punished and possibly even executed in Iran simply because she killed one of the three men that tried to rape her and her niece. Self defense is a right, not a crime. Down with rapists! Help the victim!

#48 When they make limited edition stuff and.....

You fall in love with it and then they take it away from you. They made one of the best smelling bath and body products I’ve ever smelled. It smells so intense, but not in a bad headache inducing way. It’s strawberry daquiri scent and it smells really good. It smells delicious. Absolutely delicious. I swear it smells so good I practically want to bite people who are wearing it. It is so, so good. It goes with you, too. It doesn’t just fade away. When you leave the bathroom, eat breakfast, and get in the car, your car smells like it. I absolutely love it and I just found out that it is limited edition. I can’t believe that the best scent the company ever made is limited edition. They don’t make it anymore. I have some at home, but I can’t get anymore and I am in love with this stuff. They do this with food, too- this whole limited edition stuff. It pisses me off.

#47. When people try to tell me how I feel or how I should feel

This really pisses me off. I get pissed off a lot of times about people telling me how I feel or how I should feel. This is just an example-

I know we’ve been broken up for a year and I know some of my behavior might seem to indicate obsession and other behavior might indicate someone who has moved on very quickly, but despite both sides of the behavior, I know I loved that man and really believe that I still do. The moving on and slutty behavior is my way of dealing with things I guess. The obsessive behavior is out of love and having trouble letting go. Some might say my behavior isn’t really obsessive. It’s relative, I guess. I am not stalking him or anything, though, and I do try to move on. Sometimes I think I’ve accepted it and I’ve gotten used to it, but then something happens to change things. Once, I thought I was over it really well, but it was just numbness I think. I woke up from a dream about him and I woke up crying. Another time, I thought I was used to it even though I still missed him. I ended up waking up out of that foggy dream state and realized the reality of my life and that he’d left me and we weren’t together anymore and it seemed so strange and wrong. It’s like I relapsed into shock.

Anyway, here comes the part where I got pissed. I’ve been thinking about him lately for different reasons. He’s on my mind off an on sometimes, anyway. He was on it more recently partly because this is the first Christmas we’ve been apart, partly because it’s nearing the anniversary of our breakup, and partly because I ran into his whole family tonight. He wasn’t there. I don’t know if he came home and just didn’t go to the store with them or if he decided to stay with his new friends and such.

I avoided his family even though I like them. Seeing them was painful. I think they would have spoke to me if they saw me, but they might have felt awkward even though we have spoken since the breakup and we’ve seen each other since. I kind of wanted to talk to them. I wanted to know if he had came home….plus, I miss them, too.

I tried talking to my cousins about how I felt depressed about him and they said if he didn’t love me I shouldn’t love him. My whole family says that. That doesn’t make sense to me. Someone doesn’t have to love you for you to love them and people can’t just turn it off if the other person stops.

One of then also said I’m not trying to move on and that I was obsessed and not in love. I did love him though, and I believe I still do. That REALLY pissed me off and I started cussing pretty heavily and telling them not to tell me how I felt- that they didn’t know. That I would die for him even though he actually completely stopped seeing and talking to me as even a friend a few months ago. I think if you’d die for someone that you probably love him. I’m not just going on that, though because I know some people would die for a stranger. I know how I feel though. I feel like I really love him. I believe I know what it feels like. No one knows how I feel besides me and they have no idea if what I feel is love or not.

My cousins also said it was abnormal for someone to continue to love someone after the other person had left them. I told them that every woman I’d ever asked had told me, even if they were married with kids from someone else, that every person that they’d ever truly loved- they STILL loved, even though they loved the person they were with and even if they weren’t the type of people to fall in love with someone while they were with someone they loved. I guess it’s like marrying after your spouse dies. They’re dead, but your love doesn’t die, but you may eventually go on and fall in love again and remarry, but you won’t stop loving your dead spouse. When someone leaves you and you love them, you may move on, but that doesn’t mean you stop caring. They said all of those women that told me that were mental cases. All I know is it seems to be common. Very common.

The absurd thing I finally realized after asking them some questions was that these three people had no damn idea what they were talking about. It was hilariously absurd. The two older ones are married to each other and both claim the other was their first love. The other one has never dated anyone and admits she never loved anyone. So you have two people that have never loved anyone besides each other and they are with each other, so they don’t know how they would have felt in my situation. They’ve never had someone they love leave them and they’ve only loved one person whom they still love. The other one has never loved. How dare they tell me how I should feel or how I do feel?!

Remember number 37?

I said that I hated it when people called me “a child, youngin’, kid, etc. I’m not a child and it feels so demeaning.” My shrink actually told me I was just a baby. I know that he was saying it for a good reason as he was trying to tell me that at my stage of development, he wasn’t going to judge me for something I had feared that he would. He was also using this logic to get me not to hate myself so badly. However, when he used the term “baby” I was kind of insulted. I know that I am not grown up in some ways that I should be, but I’d hardly call myself a “baby.” I might be like a child or a little kid in certain ways, but a baby? Plus, he didn’t just say, in some ways you are still like a baby. He just said, “you’re just a baby.” He didn’t mean it in an insulting way. He said it in a sympathetic tone as though he were trying to say, honey, you’re just a baby, so you can’t hold it against yourself. However, I don’t understand how I can have a serious conversation with a man who thinks of me that way. Apparently I’ve been too relaxed around him and have failed to show him the other side of myself. I am afraid that I’ll feel like he’s looking down on me now, or patronizing me, and that he doesn’t take me seriously. sighs

I'm Lazy But Damn!

Okay, I am so lazy it’s sad. It’s….I deserve to die really, but here’s the thing, excuse the hypocrisy, since I too am lazy, but it pisses me off when people are like this following example- At my grade school, I went in the teacher’s lounge a few times and saw they had a milk jug there to collect pop tabs for a cause….I can’t recall exactly what, but I know many of the charities are of a medical nature such as cancer, kidney dialisis, etc., and also some go to a cancer camp. Well these teachers were so lazy that they had throw their pop cans away in a trash can right beside of the milk jug with the tab still intact. Too lazy to pop the tab and insert it in the milk jug which was beside of the trash can AND on their way out of the door (beside the door)- and it was to save lives or something. That was so sad.

Also, people who are right beside of the little buggy corrals at the shopping centers, but leave them out anyways, so you have to let your passangers out of the car to move said buggy before you can fit into the parking space and so other times said buggies can run into your cars.

And it pisses me off that I in my own way am as bad as these people.

Phantom_Mermaid has gotten 5 cheers on this goal.


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