respect myself

I don’t know if I’m doing it right. In fact, I don’t think I’m doing it at all? I’m not very nice to myself to be honest. :( But I think I’m less of a glutton for punishment then I thought.
I told a guy that’s been horribly crude to me that I didn’t want to see him anymore. Of course, he came back with a smart comment, but I’ve been avoiding him for the past two months. :)

I told this guy I like exactly how I felt. I told him I liked him, and I felt used because he totally stopped talking to me the moment he got a girlfriend. I told him I felt more like a fling then a friend. I’m so glad I told him. He hasn’t talked to me since, but the good thing is I’m not angry about that. I’m just going to let him go, and NOT chase after him. :P

I went out with a guy friend of mine a couple of weeks ago. Him and I had a thing the summer after we graduated from high school. We hadn’t really seen each other since. Well, we went to the beach. he started making the moves on me. I straight out told him if he touches me again I will not hesitate to smack him. I felt very proud of myself for saying that. Before I would have felt bad and worried about risking our friendship. But he understood, and I was relieved to see he was mature about it.

I’m so afraid of how I’ll turn out if I continue this pattern. I’m so afraid of losing people that my own self-respect doesn’t matter if I have them around.
I’ve been unofficial with this guy for two years now. I know the only reason he stay around is because it benefits him. I’m so afraid to start this goal officially. It’s so messed up, because I’m being selfish against myself. I’m not sure when I will actually start this goal officially, but I do know that I have intentions of doing it.