make a space here to write anything I want

I’m taking a break. I know better than to delete but it’s best for me right now. See you later alligators:)

I need to elaborate on my previous post since several people have asked me if it was something they’d written.

I’ve been able to ignore the drama since it’s largely occuring in circles that I don’t participate in directly. But I clicked on a link in someone’s post today and what I read was offensive. I spent some time reading further and then more widely to try and identify what had fuelled such a charged comment. And all I can say is bloody hell. Pathetic.

Beyond this particular situation, I’ve also noticed that there are some who quite freely comment negatively on the behaviour, choices or opinions of others in relation to their personal goals. Luckily it’s a minority but if this negativity is a culture that’s becoming pervasive then we should be mindful of it.

I’ve looked at myself and the way I respond to others on 43t. Sometimes I’m defensive if I feel under attack for the things I write. And it’s always easy to misinterpret the written word if someone is being facetious – I did it recently! I’m also very conscious that even though we share a common language there are some small cultural nuances that mean we might not always understand others’ senses of humour. Actually it doesn’t always have to be cultural!

I can still largely keep out of the discord luckily but perhaps we each need to consider what we want out of this community and our personal responsibility towards this. I will state openly for the record that I’m here to document my progress towards my own goals and to support my friends to achieve theirs. Call me on it if I don’t step up – but I’ll do my best to ensure I do:)

There’s a negative undercurrent running through my subscriptions that’s increasingly unsettling. I need to decide how I want to respond.

Because I have it. I struggled through all of last week before finally collapsing. Consequently I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday in bed. With a cold. A cold!!! Now I’m fighting round 2 (or round 1 cont.) of this phlegm-inducing nemesis. This time it feels like it has set into my throat and my bones.

I will be spending my 2nd weekend in a row in bed (and this one is a long weekend!!!). But I will fight and I will win. Probably just in time to be back at work on Tuesday.

How long does it normally take to get a reply from the Robots? I contacted them about something (the last thing I wrote about here) almost a month ago and sent a follow up email and also got the standard reply. Is this particularly slow response rate normal?

I only wrote my How I Did It story because I think that girls with bulimia need to know that there is hope even after all this time and also that they shouldn’t wait so long. But I don’t want it on my page! God no! I suppose I don’t want the daily reminder. I wonder if I can negotiate with the ‘bots.

I recently read this quote from Madonna – There is a stage in a woman’s life when you have to choose between your face and your body – I always knew I’d choose my body.

As you get older do you feel like this is a choice you have to make? If so, which one do you choose?

I was so naive! I thought that when we went to the island we’d be going to the end where there was tar sealed roads and more than one shop. How wrong I was…

Now the thing with me is that I am a self-confirmed urbanite. I am not comfortable in the wilderness. I like being and staying clean. I don’t like being scratched by tree branches. And I straighten my hair every day with straighteners. So when we went scrambling up a mountain (okay maybe it was a hill) where the tracks were overgrown and covered with bush to look at a heritage site, I felt more than a little disconcerted. Not to mention at risk of cardiac arrest. That part was not fun for me. My fitness was tested a number of times so maybe some of my other goals will need to become more important.

On the plus side, at the end of week 1 (mountain climbing aside) I am LOVING my new job. I learned so much about the island’s history and I am going to learn new things every single day! I am a little nervous that there’s going to be more wilderness experiences so I think I’m going to have to mentally and physically prepare for that. And also remember that many people love that sort of stuff and I am in a privileged position to be able to experience it.

Off to a remote island (pop. 850) for 4 days to start my new life. No internet access. I will regale you with tales of how completely out of my element I was when I return.

After counting down til the day I got to resign and then waiting a whole month to finish I finally had my last day at my crappy job today. My boss put on a farewell morning tea for me and a lot of people turned up. More than he was expecting I suspect! He did a really nice farewell speech which surprised me. He was probably surprised that other people said nice things too. Then in the afternoon we had a drink while we did the quiz (my legacy was to bring the floor together to do the daily 5 min quiz in the newspaper). Then I had to do work til 5.50pm on a Friday night of my last day. I was his bitch right to the bitter end. All in all I lasted in that job for a total of 4 1/2 months. Not long at all but I met some great people and made some friends who I will stay in contact with in the future.