be financially independent

I was recently in relationship (4.5 years) which means our finances were intimately tied together. It’s actually quite expensive being a couple, buying property, putting in for things that one may want but the other may not necessarily need. A big crutch for me during the relationship was our financial goals (such as investments) forced me to live beyond my means. I felt shackled to the relationship I couldn’t see how I could make it on my own – that’s the thing about being dependent on someone.

The biggest step for me in gaining financial independence was getting real about my relationship. I knew I wasn’t happy and facing that fact forced me to get back in he drivers seat. Now I am seeing new possibilities and am much more secure in knowing that I am responsible for my financial future only. It has been quite empowering.

Have sorted through a years worth of filing (finally). Oops have found some bills that seemed to have skipped the inbox. Next mission is to get it all filed and in a functioning system so that I don’t have to put myself through this again – during my holidays no less.

Next is to get tax in order, debts paid and then a budget to nut out how much I can save and spend each month.

Good thing I can be such a spreadsheet nerd (when I want to be)..

I’ve been financially independent from a very young age which hasn’t always been easy as this doesn’t necessarily mean that I’ve always been that great with money. At times it has been very stressful and all consuming but that’s all part of growing up and learning to prioritize I guess.

I’m a little older now, an you’d think wiser! I’ve been in a relationship for the past 4 years with someone who is I guess you’d say “financially minded”. His life goals tend to revolve around financial successes so he has been a good influence on me of sorts.

I hate to admit it but it’s been really nice having a partner to lean on (which goes both ways) but I’m a bit wary of becoming reliant on this. It’s starting to freak me out how intertwined our finances are. It worries me that I’ve lost autonomy in terms of this but then at the same time it’s a relief that I no longer have to solely rely on myself. Confusing. Mixed emotions of fear and relief.

Either way I think it is so important to not fall into the trap of becoming so reliant on my partner for support that I, in turn end up crippling myself. So I’m putting myself on notice. I want to be financially independent and stress free regardless of my partner. This will allow me to make my own choices and not feel obligated, trapped or dependent upon the financial structures of the relationship.