Stop cutting

That you would be over it. You slip once over the summer and other then that you hadn’t done it in about a year.

But now you’ve fallen itno this strange depression that you can’t pull yourself out of and you slip. Not just once this time. You’re arm first, a few little slips. Okay, a more then just a few.

Then your leg once again. Back to the place where no one looks and you can hide it with ease. A little deeper each slip.

It’s so hard to stop again. I want to keep doing ti and at the same time I want it to go away.

I need encouraging words.
I ahve the razors.
I have the skin.
I’m craving.

six moths i think its been since i last cut. had thoughts yes, but didn’t do it.

last night i slipped. and it didn’t hurt. it felt so good, like a renewance….

shit… i’m slipping back into it.

wow.. i think its been 8 weeks isnce i last cut…
wow
wow
wow
last entry was 10 weeks ago… >_>
still get the urge then i remind myself… i shoul;dn’t. i cant. GAH.
its so hard tho…
not to do it.
yaanno?

i was doing okay… i think ast least.

then i slipped… cut my wrist, three cuts along my wrist. i felt release. finally… release from the pain that i was bottling up inside. finally. it seems like forever since i’ve felt it… and i shouldn’t have done it…. right?

xx-Erin-xx

Daddy called me worthless today. Does he relize how much it hurts?

If you ask anyone here they will say it has been over four months since the last time I cut. HA! It has been 2 hours since the last time I cut. With Loser on my arm and now Worthless on my leg. How about we add Whore for Amanda? Or Idiotic for Jamie? Or Poser for Sara? fuck it… i’m so sick of hiding the pain I feel. .

The word ‘Loser’ is on my arm and it makes me wonder if the scar will be there forever. My little cousin saw it, i told it was just a drawing. she beleived me. but she’s seven.

will the scar fade?
and if it does… will i miss it?
Will i make it come back?

I dont think it will ever stop

i smoked today it was fun

A few things i’ve finally know is true about myself…

I’m Crazy
I Cut
I love my friends
I would die without Sara
I love the groupies (tiff included)
Shelly and Paigie always calm me down
Rena-Mama is a big help
Some days i wanna shoot myslef
I love music…
I love choir… ewven though i cant sing that well
i would rather be alone then be around tami
tami can be the cause of some of my problems
i need help
I HATE my psyc
I am tired of lieing to people
I’m in love
I hate breaking peoples hearts
I am sadistic
I write sadictic stories and peotry
I am very ansy lately
I need pills to calm me down
I want to drink and just get drunk
Sometimes i just dont wanna be here…
ever…

xx-Kari-xx