We spent the entire day in prayer (corporate in the morning prayers of the oblates of St. Benedict and liturgy, and the angelus; and silent, solitary prayer), meditations, and silence. It was exactly what I needed, and what I need more of. One thing that struck me was a passage read by a visiting priest from the Antiochian cathedral downtown, about St. Benedict: we need to forget about trying to have “experiences” during prayer and just do the work of prayer, knowing that over time, it will have its effects. I think I was taught when I was growing up that “real” prayer would produce immediate feelings of excitement, power, etc, so when it didn’t, I was tempted to give up. Instead, today we were urged to choose silence and to just get down to the business of prayer and contemplation. God promised to answer our prayers, but not necessarily with fireworks.
Another thing that struck me was that we are often afraid to be silent and alone. Often the thing that frightens us the most is our own soul. But the only way to encounter and deal with both the angels and demons we find in our souls is to be “alone with ourselves” and with God.
Interestingly, Advent should include mourning, both for the world and for what we find in our souls when we contemplate and medidate in silence. The carol “O Holy Night” has a line about the world lying in sin and darknes. It is appropriate to think on this during Advent, in order to realize what the incarnation of our Lord actually did for the world. It’s amazing what the world has turned Christmas into- people are willing to sleep on sidewalks in the freezing cold for hours for a Playstation 3, but won’t stop to contemplate how much we actually needed the saviour sent to us…
