be beautiful

I straightened my hair today. It looks better, but I reall can’t stand the color. I’m just wondering how I could take away from my haircolor.

Not to mention, my face doesn’t look as fat when my hair’s straight. I think I’ll keep it this way.

The first place I gain weight is in my face. Well, it looks like I’ve been gaining weight because my cheeks look like a blowfish and I can actually pinch the fat on my chin.

Why can’t it go somewhere like my ass or something? I could use some lower body fat.

I know the word’s thrown around an awful lot, but I feel like shit anymore. And I know that all the things that I want are completely vain, but I never pretended to be a saint. As a young woman, I’m expected to be thin and gorgeous. Other than my low self-esteem, I live a stable life. I have a close circle of friends and I’m happy with my family, but I should really take care of myself better.

In this world, people are cruel and looks are more important than most people think they are. Young girls are always judged and I feel like I get a lot of negative attention for how I look.

So today I took a few pictures of myself, to pick out my flaws. Here are the things that I could change:

-I want to go on a stable diet and lose weight. I seen some beautiful girls who have an extra 20 on them, but it doesn’t suit me. I’m tiny, my belly fat compared to the rest of me looks bad and my cheeks are too chubby (see other goal).

-I want to get rid of the bags under my eyes. I have dark spots by the top of my nose.

-I have big lips, I should learn how to downplay their size, but I don’t know how to. They look even bigger without lipstick on them..

-I have strange eyebrows. They’re very unruly and grow in weird and stray places. I often thought about just shaving them off and drawing them on so I won’t have to deal with them. Thin eyebrows are in style anyway.

-I have messy looking hair. I just got it cut and I like the style, but I should get it straightened. I also really don’t like the color. It’s in between, blonde, light brown, and orange. I’d like to go very light blonde.

-I want to learn how to do my makeup better. I prefer gothic makeup, but I don’t know how to apply it right. Links would be appreciated.

Are there things about you that you can change and plan on changing? What are they?