And I still know I could love him. He’s my best friend. It could happen.
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Mariah has written 4 entries about this goal
I could love him. If you’d let me. In time, maybe.
I think my view of this has been expanded over the past little while.
I’ve never really believed in love that much. At least not for myself. But after Steubenville East (Like so many other things…), the idea of true love has really stuck with me. Maybe it IS possible. Maybe there is someone out there for me.
Even on a platonic level, I feel myself giving in. All the friends I made at Steubenville are amazing. Emma, Roxanne, Jill, Jess, Stef, they are all amazing people. And awesomely funny. And I really do love having them as my friends, and I love spending time with them. I love trusting them, and divulging secrets and having someone actually understand me for a change. I love Joe for being hilarious and such a good person to go to with questions. I love Pat and Diane for being this super duo that make everything happen. I love EVERYONE!
I probley do love someone, but I just won’t admit it to myself. It’s hard, because I don’t think I love my parents, or my family. I haven’t for a long time. My grandpa was the only person I would ever admit that I loved, and now that he’s gone, I haven’t told anyone that I love them for a while.
This goal doesn’t just apply to relationships with a lover-type, but family and friends, too. I really don’t feel like I LOVE someone right now. There are things I love to do, but there’s no people that I have a feeling for that I would describe as love. Maybe I’m giving love too much credit, and I think it should feel different from how I feel for these people. But everyone says that when you love someone, you just know. And I don’t know. So I guess I don’t love them?
I think I’d like to love someone.