be more outgoing and confident

being the most outgoing out of a group? when that happens to me, i’m really pushed to be even more outgoing. to try and get everyone else pumped up and everything. and not in one of those annoying/obnoxious ways. in a fun way, to my knowledge, at least.
it’s been like that a few times for me. when i’m the one with the most guts, or the one with the most courage. and it surprises me, every time. because i used to be the timid one, the shy one. but now, here i am, doing and saying what i feel, and feeling so free because of it. when i feel like dancing, i dance. when i feel like singing, i sing. and mind you, i’m not all that great at either of those things!
someone told me that they admire me once. it was about 2 weeks ago. and it make me so happy. because for someone to look up to me for something like that is just so amazing! i’ve come so far from where i used to be. i really really have. and i am SO SO SO SO SO proud of myself for that!
i think i deserve to celebrate!

don’t you love those days where you feel amazing and you walk down the street and you just KNOW you’re turning heads?
yes, yes you do.

i’m definitley getting further with this goal. i dont know what it is, but i just overall feel better about myself. i know i still have a long ways to go, but it feels really good to just care less about everyone else because you know you’re fine.
as for outgoing, i am so much better then i used to be. i am trying to get more involved in things, and i speak out more then i used to. i try to talk to new people, and just kinda put myself out there. and it’s actually fun!

I must admit, my self-esteem used to be a lot lower. Somedays I just feel like I’m an elephant or something, and a very spotty elephant at that. I can’t wait to get off this stupid acne medicine for good. I can’t really ever remember a time where I wasn’t self-concious. It’s been quite a while, probley since about grade 2 or 3. I think I’ve come out of my shell more in the past year, though. I’ve been speaking out more, and now I’m seen as more of a leader. People actually look up to me! I’m pretty much okay with myself on the inside, it’s just the outside package that I don’t like. Isn’t that always the case?! But still, it’s not like I talk about what I’m like on the inside that much, because I just don’t talk about myself that much to others because I don’t trust them. I don’t really trust anybody. Oh god, now this is turning into some type of journal entry or something! But back to the point, I just wish I could accept myself as I am!