reflect on things for which I'm grateful

All my grats today go to the fact that it is Friday. This has been a helluva busy, somewhat stress-filled week and waking up this morning knowing that the work week would end later today made joy bubble up through me all the way from my toes. Yippee!

Yesterday was a great day. For the entire afternoon I was at peace in myself and could see only light and positivity everywhere I went. In the cafeteria over lunch I watched a woman struggle to carry too many items and in so doing, she dropped a small packet of salad dressing. I could see the frustration visible on her face, and my heart went out to her – I had the sense that she, like so many of us, juggles the big stuff fairly well, but fumbling the little stuff leaves her feeling defeated.

After a split-second pause to look at (and probably silently curse at) the dropped salad dressing, she carried on toward the table where her friend was sitting, obviously planning to return after she set all the other items down, to pick up the packet. I was only a few tables away, and in need of a stretch, so I walked over, picked it up and followed her to her table. The look on her face when I set it down beside her was all the thanks I would ever want – she looked at once grateful and pleasantly mystified, as she tried to figure out why I went to the bother to lend her a hand.

Later I went to give blood and ran into a long-time family friend whom I haven’t seen in ages. We were thrilled to see each other – hugs and warm fuzzies and rapid chatter and giggles were flying all about the room. We literally had an audience watching our happy reunion. We promised to catch up with each other more fully over ice cream cones soon ;o)

And THEN, as I sat in the bloodletting chair, a nurse, with whom I once long ago had a fascinating conversation, recognized me and came over to say hello. Her bright round face was aglitter with some kind of rainbow sparkle powder. I told her how beautiful she looked and how much I loved the sparkles, so she gave me a kiss on my forehead and a little squeeze around the shoulders. Then we cut right to the chase with a hushed and rushed exchange about intentions and mindfulness (I had been reading Peace is Every Step and had it turned over on my lap during her visit). She said she had to run but she gave me a website to check out and her phone number and made me promise I would call so we could continue the conversation.

Those stories are but three of the many small yet powerful encounters of yesterday afternoon. I don’t know how else to describe my experience, except to say that my mind and heart were clear and open, and for several hours I was all blissed out and in love with everyone.

Oh, to be able to bottle that feeling…

Today I’m exceedingly grateful to the lovely, the light-emitting Serenity, for cheerbombing me so that I could in turn cheerbomb Unc.

If I get nothing else accomplished today (and it’s looking like that kind of day), I’ll rest well tonight knowing I completed my goal to scare bugs out of his swollen, oozey foot. I couldn’t have done it without help though, so thank you Serenity – and everyone else – for your cheers!

I’m not sure I can articulate this well enough, but today I’m grateful to live in the time and place that I do. I’m grateful that I was born in a country that values and protects my human and legal rights. I’m grateful that I have choices. I’m grateful that I am wealthy beyond the imagination of millions of other people on this planet. My family and I have ready access to education, health care services, clean water, police protection, employment opportunities, a safe food supply and social assistance. I’m grateful to live in a time when technology makes everything seem possible. And I’m grateful for every moment that I recognize how lucky I am to be here, now, because it reminds me that all my other petty worries and complaints don’t amount to a hill of beans. It frees me up to enjoy the freedom, peace and blessings that are too easily taken for granted.

So many things…
1. My increasing openness to receive – I’ve had a couple of daydreams lately in which I allowed myself to dream HUGE. I’m grateful that I finally feel worth big dreams.
2. You incredible people – what a place of learning this forum is for me. Thank you.
3. That our now 30-year-old furnace has clicked, croaked and clunked its way through another (mostly) cozy winter. Phew… wasn’t sure we’d make it (touch wood).
4. I am grateful that my long-time treasured friend is such an amazing success in her life. I’m so so so proud of and happy for her.
5. I’m grateful for being so well loved that I’ve had THREE birthday parties already, and a fourth this evening. It’s excessive, and in fact entirely unnecessary, but still, I’m deeply touched by the feeling behind each and every celebration.

This list goes on and on…

This week, I am grateful for…
1. Jenn’s cheerbombing the other day (it didn’t go unnoticed Sweetness, thank you!!)
2. the realization yesterday that, as of Monday when our office moves into the hospital, I will be working a stones-throw away from the beautiful Westminster Ponds nature reserve, through which I plan to go walking at least once a week, but more often when possible (like when school’s done). I am so grateful that I live in ‘The Forest City’ and that we have protected several green spaces throughout town.
3. the joy and fun that I experience with Nia – and not just the exercise itself, but the incredible women I’ve met through the Fitness Studio, and the shifts in perspective and self-understanding that seem to accompany every class I attend.

1. We are having a wicked snow storm today. Our neighbour to the west, with whom we share a driveway, spent over half an hour trying to back out of the lane way between the houses. Granted, he’s an idiot, so rather than sand/dig/plank his way out, he just swore a lot, shovelled only under his tires, and gunned the engine forever. But still, watching him made me wonder if I would make it out at all (I’m not one to fuss with anything for 30 whole minutes – I’m more the type to call in to work and declare it a sign from God that I’m meant to stay home in my jammies :o) Anyway, after the dingbat made his way onto the road, I pulled on my warm and woolies and headed out. My car, adorned with brand new all-season tires, WALKED outta there – just as it would on a dry July afternoon. Man! that made me happy!! I’m so grateful that Marty pushed me to deal with the bald tire situation, that I took his advice, and that I had ample room on the Visa card to do so BEFORE today. Phew!

2. Yesterday I received an e-mail from the coordinator of the practicum/consolidation course I have to take this summer in order to finish my degree. The requirement is 200 practice hours, unpaid, of course. Several months ago I approached the manager of the local Diabetes Education Centre to inquire after a placement opportunity. The manager said back then that she would ask her nurses the very next day whether any of them would be willing to precept me, but I never heard back from her. Now that the coordinator of the course is requesting our placement info, however, I must figure this out. Even though I had pretty much ruled it out because I never heard from her, I decided that I had better hear from the horse’s mouth that my request to work at the Ed. Centre was rejected before moving on to plan B. Well, it’s a good thing I called, because after I reminded the manager of our previous discussions, she said quite enthusiastically that she had a nurse in mind who would likely take me on, and that I have a “very good chance”. Woo hoo! I haven’t heard back yet, but I’m already quite excited about working there – learning some new skills, refreshing some old ones, and HOPEFULLY feeling like my work matters. What a nice change that’ll be!

3. I received my bursary cheque yesterday from my employer’s education fund. It doesn’t amount to even 18% of my 2007 tuition expense (not including books, school fees, taxes etc.), but still, I’m so lucky to work for an organization that makes continuing education enough of a priority that we even have allotments built into the budget. Every little bit helps, and I’m grateful that I don’t have to struggle to afford school.

The Fitness Studio has added a third Nia class per week. Now, in addition to Tuesdays afternoons and Saturday mornings, we can all come together to dance and play and laugh and hug on Thursday afternoons as well. Yay!!!

It’s been mostly grey and rainy ‘round these parts lately, but the other day, on my way to meet friends for bubble tea, I looked to my left out the car window and ahhhhh… blue sky and sunshine, glowing from behind the broken cloud cover.

This morning I received word from one of my oldest and dearest friends that a member of her family took his own life this weekend. I don’t know the man, and actually, nor does she. Her sister married him about a year ago, but had by then become basically estranged from the rest of the family, including my friend. Doesn’t matter that we didn’t know him; it’s sad as hell when someone gives up on life.

I am so sorry for my friend, who is the single-most amazing person I’ve ever met – truly. Try as she does to build and maintain a “normal” life for herself and her daughter, her family’s tragedies continually draw a great deal of her energy. She is about the only functional one of the bunch, so it always falls to her to stand everyone up, dust them off and organize their lives for them (I know, I know – you think she’s the centre-of-the-universe control-freak martyr-type, but she isn’t. She’s just a big heart, full of gratitude for the gifts that seem to have eluded everyone else in her family).

My heart is so sad for her sister too. She’s a tragic creature in the truest sense of the word. I fear that this event will crush what little spirit she has left. She had pushed her kids and her own family so far away from herself in order to be with this man – will she forgive herself? Ugh.. the whole situation makes my belly ache.

Today I am reminded of just how incredibly, joyfully, tearfully grateful I am that M and I both have healthy loving families, as well as each other.

I’m grateful that my friend is my friend, after all these years, and that she still considers me family.

I’m most grateful that in her 35 years she has climbed out of the mess into which she was born and constructed for herself a solid home base with her husband and daughter, within which she is safe and happy and healthy.

I’m all mushy inside today, and as unhappy as the circumstances that brought me to it are, I’m grateful that I am capable of feeling the sorrow of others, because it reminds me how MUCH I have to be grateful for.