love my body

TMI Warning: There’s a good chance I’m going to discuss my bum in this post. Read at your own risk.

Last night after dinner, even though I was still full, I waddled back to the little “gym” we set up in the back basement. I really need to resume some strength and conditioning work, so I decided to do one set of each on-the-ball exercise I learned from the trainer way back when. I was nervous, because I hate being reminded just how out of shape and unfit I’ve let myself become, but was pleased to discover myself able to do all with relative ease and coordination. I love my body for maintaining the little bit of muscle tone it has, despite my years of lazing about like a lump.

I mentioned this to Marty and we got chatting about other genetic gifts we have; he, for example, has a great chest and shoulders. He’s naturally thick and muscular, even at his most unfit. I then stated how genetically lucky I was to not have a cottage cheese bum. His eyes got all big and he said emphatically “You have a GREAT bum!! I love your bum!! It’s so smooth and round and perfect, and even with this little bit of extra weight, it’s still firm and looks fantastic!!” I’m not exaggerating those exclamations either – that’s just the way he said it. He then backed me over to the full length mirror and asked innocently if he could see it. No kidding!! There we stood, my naked bum’s glowing reflection in the mirror, my head and torso cranked around so I could see it, and him going on and on about the particular characteristics that make mine a beautiful bum. Then he gave it a squeeze, thanked me for the peep show, and covered it back up.

I love my body :o)

I just ran up to the fourth floor and back. I’m going to do it at least twice a day, every day I’m at work.

I love my body because it can run up stairs. Thanks body!

Susan has had us thanking particular joints over the past few Nia classes. Tuesday it was our knees, Thursday our wrists…

It’s a wonderful practice, because I am sincerely grateful every day that I can walk, run, dance, kick, climb, and put my feet up.

My gratitude and love for my joints doesn’t stop at my knees or wrists either. I am wholly able-bodied and I LOVE IT!!!

M & I have both been organizing and renaming our digital photo files lately, so we’ve been looking at lots and lots of photos. While I still dislike the vast majority of pictures of myself, M and I have both noted over and over that I have very shiny hair – and I love that! I’m glad that I’ve never coloured or permed or in any other way harmed the natural sheen of my hair, and I’m even more glad to find features I like about myself when I’m looking through photos that not too long ago would have saddened and/or repulsed me.

Sue told me after Nia last night that I’m looking “smaller”... I love smaller :o)

I love the little constellation of ‘beauty marks’ (freckle is such an ugly word) decorating my right lower abdomen.

When the show Ally McBeal first aired on television, I gave it most of a season before I decided it wasn’t worth the time. Really the only thing I took from it was that Richard Fish (God he was a great character, at least in season one) had a ‘thing’ for older women and their “waddles” – the loose skin below the chin. What a weirdo, I thought. And to be honest, since then I’ve been quite aware of that area on other women, and have developed quite a neurotic worry that I’ll develop a waddle myself – eeeewwww!

All that, just to report that this morning as I drove home from the gym, I was sort of mindlessly scratching my neck and under-chin, and suddenly became aware of how soft my waddle skin is – not loose, not pendulous or wrinkly, just soft as a baby’s skin. And I felt happy. It is a rare thing when I feel good about my body, and this morning’s little observation made me realize just how sad – and narrow minded – that is. I am certainly capable of recognizing more than just my jeans size when critiquing my body, so why haven’t I been doing it?

Enjoying Nia classes has made me really aware of a particular kind of stiffness in how I move – in fact, I recently noticed that there are a couple of Nia steps during which – no kidding – I cover my eyes with my hands! I CANNOT look at my reflection while I’m attempting those exercises because I look so awkward and I feel so uncomfortable doing them. I can’t decide whether that is more silly than sad or vice versa.

So… my goal is to love my body and to increase my comfort inhabiting it – even if I develop a waddle ;o))