Stop comparing myself to other people

Just heard that another friend has gotten a job in another field. I’m really happy for her, but I can’t help thinking about myself too (had the poor me thought of, am I going to still be here in ten years). Just need to continue sending out apps and reading books, getting engaged in general. On the plus side, I have given up on comparing my salary, my intelligence, and my family with other people. There’s no point to any of it, it’s all just about me, but not in the negative sense in this particular case.

So I found myself looking up my old hometown and came across my high school reunion page. It took me straight back in time and reminded me of many things I’ve forgotten—the good thing is, I feel as if the remembering is also a letting go. I have no desire to attend a reunion right now, but who knows in another ten years or so? If the past is the past and what counts is the absolute present, the best thing one can do is keep on trying to be a better person than yesterday. Still a great message from a fellow 43things participant.

So today I mistakenly disclosed how much my salary was five years ago, which led to a conversation that made me feel bad? sad? that if I stay on the same track, I won’t ever make big bucks. Whatever that amount is. But within an hour, I realized that I don’t want to discuss salaries with anyone, and more importantly, what other people make shouldn’t have an impact on my life, positive or negative. There’s always someone making more and there’s always someone making less-I know it’s super super hokey, but the important thing is I’m doing ok in my life right now and that’s the thing to keep on shining in the mind. And I shouldn’t just say ok. I’m doing better than I have in a while. If I had a choice between being 1) rich but super depressed and f*ed in the head or 2) still pinching pennies but, compared to a lot of folks, having more than enough to get by-I take #2 hands down. I think I’m realizing as I write this that the entire thought process is my own issue, so will also do my best to seperate these feelings from the person I had the conversation with.