be comfortable in my own skin

This start to the new year has been SHIT (for about 90%) and so to say goodbye to the past and hello to my bad-ass self, this hair is getting CHOPPED!

I need this symbolic, cathartic show to the new year. I want to get rid of the dead weight slowing me down. Since I can’t control much these days it seems, I can control this!

_{The only really good thing was spending a lot of time with someone new. He’s kind of wonderful. I really enjoyed my time with him :)}

things go much better I’ve realized! Hahaha.

What a concept right?

I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary or of that ilk, but I have been a little more brazen these days with guys. A friend of mine today that works on my car, I flirted with him a little bit and he’s a really nice guy so I don’t want to overwhelm him but he’s on the market again so I pushed it a little bit ;) It was fun either way…for me at least.

And all because I am getting more and more comfortable in my own skin.

So I went on a date on Tuesday and I met the guy the previous Saturday. Weird thing, we went to high school together and actually had some classes together, but didn’t run in the same circles. So I see him and we’re friendly and he asks if I’m on Facebook (NO!) and so he asks for my number. I thought he was just being nice since he told my friend I was with, oh, I’ll friend you.

Yes, I am really that clueless sometimes.

Anyhow, long story short, we go out on Tuesday because it’s the only night I have open and we go out for dinner and have a few drinks afterwards. Seriously, one of the best dates EVER. We have fantastic conversation about nearly everything, he’s really open and I feel like I really connect with him. He and I are in very similar places in our lives (we both have young kids, we’re in good, stable jobs, we’re very independent).I just really like him and after a first date, that’s scare the hell outta me.
Well we’ve talked nearly everyday and it he says he likes me. A lot. He actually told me that first. Of course, I’m completely shocked. But when I think about it, not only am I totally awesome (wink, wink) I was myself on the date, with maybe a little more eyeliner, but I was me and I talked about my nerdiness, things I like and don’t like, etc.

It’s amazing when you are comfortable in your own skin how things are SO much better than they ever were before.

This might be a small item but I have come to really take comfort truly treasuring small things.

I got to play softball tonight and I wasn’t ashamed of my body, how I performed and didn’t get overally worked up or anything. I felt comfortable & confident enough in my own skills and talent and I performed well. I played for 12 years growing up. And best of all, I felt good. It’s so nice to feel good again.

Sometimes I have to just “be”.

I really love orange, especially during the fall. This sweater was originally for my failed Velma costume but I quite like it. I like looking nice & it puts me in a better mood. Maybe it’s a girl thing :)

I am accepting of what I can and totally can’t pull off these days clothes wise and I’m okay with that.
My Halloween outfit was a bit skimpy, but I was told that I was well within my parameter :)

love. For a fews weeks now, I’ve felt eww…gross. I don’t like my hair, my face, things weren’t fitting me right, blah blah blah. No matter what I did, I felt ugly. Well, my love came into town and I kid you not, being happy about the visit, turned me as pretty as can be. I mean, I’m no ten but I clean up good.And it just goes to show me, how love can not only affect the inside but the outside too. I did nothing else different than I had all the previous days other than the fact of being around him.

He makes me comfortable in my skin.

My aesthetician recommended pro-biotics for me and my skin issues so I have been taking the supplements lately and hopefully it will help me out a little.
The air here is so freaking DRY though and although my face is “icky” and not clear, the dry air is doing worse damage because I tend to overdo it on the washing.
By the way, it’s beautiful here. During the day, noonish, the temp is like 70. Ahhhh…

I weighed myself today and feel pretty good about it. “Work in progress” I tell myself. By nature, I feel low self esteem and mask that with humor or sarcasm. I want to be more positive so I think the more each day I do that, the more it will become reality.

I am very uncomfortable in my own skin. I hate my body, my face, my hair, etc. yet I do try to be presentable and comfortable and do things that make me happier about them. I have many insecurities about myself and some days are better than other. Sometimes I don’t give a flying F what others think when they see me and other days when I feel all eyes are on me (yes, very egotistical but I am an only child and have to let go of the fact that the world does not revolve around me). I will work on this as a lifelong goal!