write down my dreams

After work and shoveling today, I took a much needed nap. I love naps, I love nap dreams, and I love waking up, looking at the clock and thinking I overslept for work. It makes me laugh at myself when I realize its still the afternoon.
So todays nap dream was a weird replay of my last two days of work rolled together and sprinkled with the sweet taste of random that so loves to flavor my dreams.
I was at work and just about everyone was there. Work was in the city though instead of where it really is. It also wasn’t really in a building, it was in a big square that definitely doesn’t exist in Philadelphia, and looked more European but it did have elements of City Hall. (This is probably because Phil and Ash from my work want to go downtown one day this week and I was thinking about it.) So everyone from the bakery was standing on the south side of the square and everything was covered in snow. Loukas suddenly remembered he had to catch a flight and ran off (which is true he was going to Texas this morning.) Then we all talked about how there was no way he was getting a flight in this weather. Phil said he knew a trick to find out if it was going to snow or rain, and he asked me what way was north, so then he stood with his back to the north and put one finger up and told us it was going to rain. I said it didn’t seem like it was going to rain and right as I did the sun rose up from behind a building like it was just coming up even though it should have already been out. We all started laughing but then it started to pour and we started laughing harder. The rain was blowing all over in every direction, so we decided to leave.
We went inside (which was like a series of hallways along the edges of the square.) Then I didn’t work for WFM anymore, I worked for Sam Merlotte from the Sookie Stackhouse books. People kept giving me notices that Sam needed to pay rent or liquor taxes and weird things like that. Ash was still with me and we kept walking. We found these two guys making candy canes and pulled sugar ribbons. The one guy took out these really teeny tiny pulled sugar tulips, and gave us each one.

Thats all I remember.

I can’t remember everything in order, I just have fragments left over. There was one part when I was running up this path in the woods with a few other women and we were trying to get away from something. We came out to a small landing and it was a cliff overlooking water. We all knew we had to jump and some people did, but I couldn’t. I was having an anxiety attack. I didn’t know how deep it was and I was afraid I wouldn’t come back up.

I don’t really have anything elaborate or specific to record. I’ve had two dreams recently though about going to talk to my old boss. This is because she screwed up my taxes and I need to go talk to the IRS. Also, the last two nights I’ve been on the master cleanse and every night I dream that I forget and eat something. In my dream last night, I ate a brownie.

A few months ago, I had a dream about my friend, Kelly, who died 6 years ago. I was going through a lot at the time and I had a particularly hard day when I had the dream. I tend not to share my feelings with people and I really needed someone to talk to but I was so closed off.

In the dream, Kelly was as old as she would be now. She was in college and I went to see her to talk about what was going on with me. I can’t even begin to explain the sense to calm and comfort I had while I was talking to her. We were really close, closer than we had been when she was alive. She listened to everything I had to say, she was so mature and wise. It felt good to know I was able to open up to someone like that. I can’t even begin to explain all the feelings I had during the dream or after. It was really intense for me. Her apartment had this really cozy feeling. It was cold, maybe even snowy out in the dream. Her place was warm and inviting. Her furniture was all antique looking and mismatched but somehow all fit together. I remember a dark wooden china cabinet and there was a green chair with one of those doily things on the top…which is kind of amusing to me, but I loved it. There was a big bay window and all the panes were frosty and I could see the bare trees outside.
When I talked about the dream the next day, I was pretty upset. I was wondering if we would be friends like that if she were still alive. I thought about everything she never got to do. I know her mom would want to hear about the dream, but I know it would be bittersweet for her like it is for me. I want to live a really full life for her, for everything she never got to do. I think 43 things is helping me with that.

Thanks for the dream, Kel.