start smoking

Six months today and still going. I am very glad I returned to smoking. My big worry was that I would go back to smoking too much, but after six months I am still smoking 9 cigarettes on most days, 7 – 8 cigarettes on other days. Yesterday, for example I smoked seven.

So, I was quite successful in starting again without getting to smoke too much.

I just found an interesting article called The Benefits of Smoking and I thought I’d share it with you.

It has been two months since I started smoking (after a five-year break) and I am glad to say that everything is what I was hoping for and more.

My main concern was about smoking too much because I used to do that before I quit, and that was why I quit: After many years of smoking a pack and a half a day and enjoying it, I suddenly found myself smoking two and a half packs a day and not enjoying it. So I quit.

But now it has been five and a half years, so I decided to start again and to stay a light smoker this time. I have a very strong motivation to keep it that way. I really enjoy smoking, and I would hate to have to quit again. So, I have been smoking up to nine cigarettes a day for these past two months. I smoke less and enjoy it more.

I never light up automatically, just because it is time, or just because my body is reminding me to smoke. I like to tease myself about it. I tell myself, OK, I am going out for a cigarette, but then I start doing something on the Internet. And when my body is reminding me again, I do it again. After several times I finally “give in.” Then something in my brain starts dancing with joy and I really, really, really enjoy the cigarette. So, playing with the addiction is half of the fun I have with smoking.

Secondly, I follow a very strict rule: When you’re smoking, smoke! That means when I am smoking, I am not doing anything else. I just smoke. I give it my full attention. When I take a puff and inhale it, I consciously observe the effect of the nicotine on my body, how a pleasant feeling is spreading all through my nervous system. In the years before I quit I was smoking out of a habit and really paying no attention to it, it was just an automatic thing. I still enjoyed it (except toward the end when I was smoking so much), but not as much as I am enjoying it now that I am paying my attention to it.

Additionally, it has brought some other interesting things to my life. I live in the attic of a house (which has been converted into an apartment). I am not allowed to smoke inside, and I would not even if I was allowed because I do not like the idea of the smoke penetrating everything. So, I always step outside. There is a garage attached to the house and a door from my place directly to the roof of that garage. So, I step out on that roof and that is where I smoke. Because of that, I have met a lot of people. They always think it is funny that I am on the roof and stop and talk. I also get to observe the stars at night, and during the day watch the deer in our neighborhood and other animals (mostly squirrels). And of course I get out to the fresh air several times a day instead of sitting indoors (I am disabled, so I spend most of my time at home).

Through it all, I keep observing the when you’re smoking, smoke rule. And I smoke in such a way as to prolong the effect of each drag. I take a drag and inhale. I hold it in and observe its effect on my nerves. I then exhale some of the smoke, take in some fresh air through my mouth, mix it with the remainder of the smoke still in my mouth, then inhale. I do this several times, each time exhaling some of the smoke and mixing the rest of it with fresh air. I do it until I have no smoke left in me.

I smoke slowly, am in no rush. I take my time in-between the drags. That is when I get to watch the stars, or the deer, or talk to someone.

All in all, I am very happy that I am smoking again!

It has been two weeks since I started smoking again, and it has been nothing but fun. I smoke just under half a pack a day, that is 8-9 Pall Mall 100 full flavor cigarettes every day.

I live in an attic and smoking is not allowed inside the house. There is a garage next to the house, and a door from my attic to the garage roof. So, I go out on the roof to smoke. The other day I was enjoying a ciggie up on the roof and this kid was walking by with his older sister and he asked why I was on the roof. I told him I was not allowed to smoke inside. He smiled and nodded, hehehe. I hope he does not smoke yet, he could not have been more than nine.

I have diabetes which has damaged the nerve endings in the soles of my feet. In other words, I suffer from neuropathy: I do not feel what I step on. But the condition has improved greatly in the last two weeks. I bet the nicotine has revived my nerve endings, so, yes, folks, smoking has improved my health!

And, funny thing, they say people start smoking to feel older. I actually am feeling like a kid again.

Oh, I am so glad nature has provided us with tobacco on this planet. What a wonderful gift to us all that is!

Here is my full story.

Hip, hip, hurrah! I made it! I have just finished my first pack! Not my absolutely first one, that one I finished sometime in 1968. But after five and a half years without tobacco, I bought a pack of Pall Mall Full Flavor 100 three days ago. I smoked two on that day, five on the following day, seven yesterday, and six (so far, though it is getting late, so I still may or may not smoke one more before going to bed) today, for a total of twenty, a full pack!

I actually got cold feet yesterday morning. Because the day before (on the second day), I waited way too long (some four or five hours) after the third cigarette, and when I finally went out to smoke it, I smoked it very fast, just to get a fix, instead of fully enjoying it. Then just two minutes later I smoked the fifth one of the day and enjoyed it thoroughly, and then went to bed.

But the next morning, yesterday, I started to wonder whether I really wanted to do it. Should I just finish the pack over the next few days and then quit? Or should I just quit right then while I still had a chance? After a while I reminded myself how I really, really, really wanted to start smoking again, and decided to continue. I normally get to a store only twice a week: On Wednesdays to WalMart (that is where I had bought the pack) and on Friday to a grocery store (yesterday was Friday). I am disabled and do not drive, I get to the stores by a bus run by the County Department on Aging, and they have picked those two days of the week.

I decided to buy two more packs in the grocery store, so I could smoke freely and still have enough left by next Wednesday. I figured that by the time I finish the third pack, I would not be looking back, but I would continue smoking, hopefully for the rest of my life. I quit four times, always stayed off for several years, so quitting comes quite easy to me, and I actually sort of wish I could not quit because I really love smoking.

Statistically, I have about twenty years of life left, and I want to make sure that I die a smoker. Call me weird if you want, but I like balance in my life. I do a lot of logical work in my life (working with mathematics and computers much of the time). So, doing something totally illogical, such as smoking, keeps me balanced and prevents me from turning into a Spock.

And I have smoked this twentieth cigarette outside in the rain. I feel quite confident that my old addiction to nicotine is back, so that I will continue from now on. Yippee!

I love smoking! Always have and always will.