practice convivial frugality

Some neighbors across the street, who are also members of my church, have been so kind to me, doing many favors over the years. E came over tonight to help me trim my kitty’s claws with her clipper, & she saw Bananagrams, a great word game, on the coffeetable. “S [her youngest, about 7] just got that!” she said.

I love Bananagrams! So after I get my housecleaning done over the next few days – much needed after a long binge of freelance work – I’m going to see when the five of them could come over & have dinner & play it with me. Game night – fun!

This month I’m keeping close track of all my income & spending, to help me be very frugal. Tonight I paid nearly all the monthly bills online; there are just a couple for which I’m sending checks. I also invoiced for recent freelance work.

Economizing on food (while enjoying its deliciousness) makes an amazing difference. And early next week I’m going to cancel the current expensive Internet service & go for basic DSL service at only $20/month! I’m also getting rid of the land line & VOIP service – it’ll be just cell phone from here on out.

But this is convivial frugality that I’m practicing, so all is not self-denial. Tonight I went to Lisa’s flamenco recital! (I arrived late & actually missed her dances :-( but thoroughly enjoyed those that I saw – & it’s always nice to see RedBirdLady herself.) More extravagantly (but still frugally), I bought season tickets to a theater a few blocks away, for myself & a friend who is going through marital separation & really needs support. The theater specializes in adapting great novels; between fall & next spring they’ll be putting on Wuthering Heights, The Moonstone, & Watership Down. These will be great experiences to share with my friend.

I’m budgeting in some giving to worthy organizations/causes, which always feels good. In fact this evening’s work has made me feel more like myself, & hopeful.

I fervently hope – & I’m working to make it possible.

Circumstances, related to “survive it” as well as this goal, are not entirely under my control. But I’m praying & doing what I can.

It was inspiring yesterday to visit a friend/neighbor who is in a major life transition, & to see what she has done to clean out her bedroom & make it an inviting space for doing her freelance work as well as (of course) sleeping & dressing. She bought & assembled a futon with a nubby caramel-brown cover. The only inexpensive ottoman she could find was bright red, & she was planning to recover it in another color to make it harmonize . . . but another friend came by & said, “Oh, I have to give you a room-size rug that I have stashed away. Perfect for this room.” The rug fits Meg’s room precisely & has shades of caramel brown AND bright red. The room is so attractive & inviting now, & the ottoman no longer clashes.

In the changes that are happening in my own life, there will be doubtless be “perfect rugs” – surprising gifts that will draw together disparate colors & circumstances to create a new kind of beauty despite my limited resources.

My husband got back from his long trip nearly two weeks ago, but because we left on a short trip together almost right away, he didn’t get to immediately see the difference that my disciplined grocery shopping & weekend cooking have been making.

But this weekend we’ve been home, so I’m having a chance to show him. Yesterday, as we left the neighborhood market where I’ve been shopping most often, he asked how much we had spent. Forty-three dollars, I told him . . . he was amazed at how much we had gotten for that amount. Very gratifying. :-) We then picked up a few other items elsewhere but didn’t need to spend much more.

As a result of that shopping & my cooking this weekend, we have freshly made muesli, yogurt, dhal, brown rice, chicken & broth. I have chopped up an enormous papaya, & some chicken-sweet potato stew is bubbling in the crockpot & making the house smell great. Plus there are some yummy leftovers from last week.

At the moment the conviviality is just between the two of us, but that’s fine because first I have to get him on board by showing him that we can do this without a great sense of deprivation; on the contrary, it’s enriching us. Because most of my work is brain work, I really NEED the balancing, calming, refreshingly sensory work of cooking – on the weekend when there’s more time to enjoy it. We are also enriched nutritionally. And being able to just heat up homemade foods on weeknights makes our evenings a bit roomier.

Yay for yogurt makers, pressure cookers, & slow cookers!

This month, partly nudged by a conversation with Wildcranberries, partly by prayer & scripture reading & paying attention to my own anxious thoughts, I came to some clarity about lifestyle changes my husband & I need to make. I have discussed it on the phone with him while he’s away, & he thinks what I’m doing sounds good so far.

[If you’re curious about the scripture passage that helped me, it’s in Mark chapter 8, the account of Jesus telling his disciples to provide food for a huge crowd of more than 5,000 people who had been listening to his teachings. The disciples thought he was crazy, but he said to them: “How much food do you have? Go & see.” They came up with just five loaves of bread & two fishes (another gospel account specifies that these were provided by a young boy who was present), but Jesus gave thanks for this paltry food & there ended up being more than enough for everyone. How much do I have? I needed to go & see. It will be enough to provide for us as we give thanks & seek to be faithful disciples (learners, followers) of Jesus.]

So I have opened a spreadsheet on which I’m working slowly to put together a realistic budget for us. So far, the main item on which we can save appears to be food. Food, of course, is generally the centerpiece of our experiences of conviviality – shared enjoyment & conversation with each other & friends & family. It’s important that cutting back financially not diminish this. I am so bold as to believe that we can eat more frugally but with greater conviviality.

Last night I had a young friend over for supper, & there was still enough left from my cooking the previous weekend (!) to heat up & serve a yummy meal that accompanied our long, happy conversation.

• using lots of legumes, that is, dried beans/split peas/lentils (Boston-style baked beans, dhal, vegetarian chili, etc.)
• cooking a whole chicken (organic – not skimping on quality), putting the cooked meat in smaller containers & freezing some, then cooking the bones again to enrich the broth, which can be used immediately for soup or frozen for later use
• making a good-sized amount of some delicious vegetable mix (e.g., curried cauliflower/tomato soup, ratatouille, green beans w/mushrooms)
• keeping a mix of mostly in-season fresh fruits & veggies on hand
• cooking a batch of brown rice
• making my own yogurt
• sometimes baking bread (note: you can find a great recipe for 100% whole wheat QUICK bread using molasses & raisins by googling those ingredients)
• next up: making yogurt cheese! here are instructions from a SparkPeople article about yogurt:

Make your own yogurt cheese! This is a great replacement for cream cheese, sour cream and mayonnaise. Line a large strainer with a paper coffee filter and place it over a large bowl. Add 2 cups of plain yogurt to the lined strainer. Cover and refrigerate for eight or more hours. The liquid will drain into the bowl, leaving the thick yogurt “cheese” you can use in dips, spreads and baked goods.
For a spread, combine yogurt cheese with jam, jelly, or cinnamon and sugar. For a vegetable dip, combine with your favorite cheese, herbs and spices. Substitute yogurt cheese for higher-fat ingredients in baked goods, cheesecake, and pies.

I’ve gotten some tightly sealing containers with non-BPA plastic lids so that I can take combinations of the above foods to work, along with raw carrots & a piece of fruit, for microwave-heated lunches. Then in the evening I can have a different combination for supper.

My husband & I really enjoy eating at an array of ethnic restaurants (Vietnamese, Thai, Ethiopian, Mexican, Colombian, Japanese, etc. etc.), but the idea is to make this rare & special – just once or twice a month.

My husband’s blood pressure is slightly elevated, & he’d like to quit relying on frozen entrees & vegetable mixes from Trader Joe’s; they’re delicious & nutritious but also relatively expensive & salt-laden. So he has a personal reason for endorsing my new regimen. :-)

I’m back to tracking my food at Sparkpeople, & it’s impressive to see how much my fiber intake has increased! Meanwhile calories have decreased & I’m losing weight without feeling hungry between meals/snacks.

How much do you have? Go & see.