NOT see or contact him in any way/any form for 60 days

i am over it.
and i can say it confidently.
(:

good luck to all of you !
♥

so i’m failing on the ‘not see him’ part, but the good thing is i think i’ve moved on.

i went to pick up my sister from work the other day and hand Pip her invite to my EIGHTEENTH ! :DDDD

anyway, i walk passed him; i didn’t flinch, i didn’t turn the other way, i stared at him, realised how i’m not missing out on anything and feel happy.

the other thing that left me feeling good was him hiding. i don’t know whether it was in shame or fear, either way; i’m completely at ease with whatever was happening. (:

also, you’ve probably all heard it a tonne of times but once more can’t hurt; it really helps to talk to people about this sorta thing, getting it off your chest and not having to keep it all to yourself is really helpful.
talk so someone if you’re having a tough time, i’m sure your friends have something else they want to get off their chest, so it’s a win-win situation really !

and i’ve realised it’s okay to cry ! let it all out.
i did; and now i’m laughing ! (not a crazy/hysterical laugh, rather, an “i’m so happy with life right now, only good has come of this experience” laugh) (:

i hope you are all doing well !

so yesterday, i went into work, returned my uniform and saw everyone.

hugs and conversations with people i’ve missed so much.

and then my heart stopped.
he was there, and i had to take my little cousin on to his ride.

i told her we would go on it later.

and we did, once he was rotated off.

_{was it weak of me to run away like that ?
i was just so scared that i would end up talking, and admitting that i missed him, his letters, his words.}

i’m going to be turning my phone off whilst at school and at home.
it will only be on whilst making my way to and from school so i’m not tempted to call, message, im or email.

_{it also means i’ll have no excuse as to why i haven’t done my school work !}

okay, so i went into work today forgetting about this goal completely.

i was sitting in the staff area, waiting for my sister when he walked in.

no words were shared although i can’t be sure because as soon as i saw his hair, i turned around and spoke to Lizzy.
i’ve missed him.
and it’s completely pathetic.

i think he was waiting for me to initiate a hug or a hi and as much as i wanted to, i didn’t.
the last message i sent him, which was a couple weeks ago spoke about how i was just about ready to implode and that next time i see him he should brace himself because i would probably break him with my hug.
all he had to say was ‘rad’.

i miss his words; his letters, his eyes, his awkwardness, his jungle of hair.
but i hate what he’s doing to me.
i don’t deserve it.

i’m just so glad that i didn’t give in and hug him or talk to him.

it might’ve appeared childish to him that i hugged almost everyone in the staff room and i spoke about how much i missed them all and conversed with them and not him, but it’s a big deal to me.

i turned my phone off yesterday so that i wouldn’t be tempted to contact him.

it was good, i cleaned; did a couple loads of washing, watched The Princess Diaries with mum on the couch whilst eating penne pesto pasta for lunch and then went out for dinner with mum, dad and my sister, once we were done we went to watch 10,000BC.

i must say, Steven Strait is quite a distraction.

i’m going to go add him to my List of 43 people that i wouldn’t kick outta bed

;D