make more friends

Just as it is no matter where you go, some people step into your life and some people step out.

I have socialized more then I have in the past and found it to be a bit more of a hassle because of the quality of morals or I should say the lack of morals that people have that I have come across. I don’t care to have that type of attitude or influnence in my life.

I am very particular in who I allow deeply into my life. I have people that I can be friends with but never really allow myself to become close.

That is who I am and how I am and I am happy with that.

I have reconnected with some of my old friends and meet some new friends as well.

I meet J but a lot of people call him Baby J. I have not found out why as of yet, but I think maybe it is because his father’s name was J. too.

I find him a kind of cute. I did find out that he is interested in asking me out on a date. Wow, I don’t know how I feel about it, but it would be nice just to have someone to spend some time with. He seems like a very sweet guy.

I met some friends of my X boyfriend J’s friends, which was nice as well too. J has never been one to share his life with me and introduce me to his friends. Allowing me into his world and his friends is something that he has never done before. At this point in time, I don’t know if I to step into J.’s world.

I just reconnected with an old friend that I haven’t see in about 4 years so I am very happy, happy, happy about it.

This goal looks like it is coming along really well. I am learning how to socialize a bit more then I have in the past. It is a work in progress.

On Saturday, I ran into a couple of old friends while walking into work at 2nd job. It was nice to see them. I told that I would love to have them over to my apartment if they didn’t mind that I was still getting out of boxes. My friend, Donnie, said that if I have 5 kids, then I wouldn’t mind if it was messy because it couldn’t be any more messy then my house.

While I was at church I met a new friend and her husband. They were really nice and invited me to to another member’s open house. Her name was Chris and her husband was Chuck (I think). They were very nice and I hope to meet with them again.

I was really nervous because I got out of church late.and had to rush to Krogers to buy some food for my company. I spend about $50 and got some food that wasn’t junk food, expect for the soda for them. Well, they came and they didn’t have any sloppy joes or sheddred chicken sandwitches that I had ready to be made. I wasn’t too upset about it, it was just really good to have company to hang out with again. I went over to their house for a while to watch movies. I fell asleep after watching the movie DOOM. It was really awesome!

I also went bowling with them yesterday. It was really great. I haven’t bowled in years but it was right to get out.

I know that L, really likes me and he has liked me in the past, (his brother told me)so he has been playing more attention to me which is nice for one to be the center of someone’s attention after being ignored for so long. He has a 3 year old little girl name Briannica, who is just warming up to me.

I had a great time all weekend.

There is a sweetheart dinner at my church on February 11th at 6:00. They will be having a Christian comedian there as entertainment. I finally broke down and bought a ticket thinking it might be nice to do something on my birthday that day.

I still don’t know how I will feel about doing this, but at least I am trying to do something different. I haven’t done anything like this in about two years so I am a bit nervous. At least I will be surrounded by people from my church.

I was wondering if I should find someone to come with me so I will have someone to talk to. I don’t know if anymore will talk to me while I am there.

Yesterday was a horrible day for me. As I was in City Hall going up to the Municipal Court part to retreive some documents for the office. As I was making my way toward the stairs, I walked passed a young man with beautiful blue eyes. I looked at him and nodded my head in greeting. I was suprized when he asked me “How are you doing today?” I said “fine, thank you”

Of course, I was far from fine yesterday with anything, but that little interaction was nice and made me smile.

I wish interacting with other people was easier for me. I guess I will just have move forward a little bit at a time.

How does one do this when one is shy. I know I need to broaden my friendship group which I am lucky to have one friend that I do things with outside of work.

I was thinking about going to a club, but that is so not “me” so I have been trying to think of other ways other people do to make friends.

This is such a horrible cracked facet of my personality. I can be outgoing, but making friends is a hard thing for me. I have always kind of stuck to myself.

Usually people like me are called loners, which I don’t really like. I just have learned how to do things myself when no one else wants to accompany me, but that doesn’t mean that I enjoy it or even love it. I just don’t have a lot of connections to people that I can really call my friends and do things with.

I have always dreamed of having lots of friends and doing things in groups like it seems like so many other people do. It is funny because I thought if I even got married, the side of the church that represents the bride’s side of her family and friends, would be practical empty.

Pathetic.