Tie up the loose ends of my past.

Yess! There is such a sense of relief that I have now. You seriously have no idea. I took a night and just wrote down all the things about my past that bother me and I thought about each and everyone and tried to figure out what I could do to make myself feel at ease when I thought of those particular things. I wrote a letter to my dad, whether or not I am going to send it is a different story, but I got everything out that I wanted to say to him. My old friendships, I think that I am gaining progress with either cutting them off completely or trying to fix them. I had a talk with one of them the other night and we are going to start expressing our feelings more to each other rather than keep them inside until we both boil over and get into a fight. Another friend, I actually wished a happy birthday to, even though we haven’t talked in about six months. And for past relationships, well there was only one in mind that needed to be patched up. I called Robert (thanks bluepark) and talked to him. I told him all the feelings I had about our past and told him how much he actually did hurt me when we officially ended our “relationship” four years ago (we are still the best of friends which is why I could talk to him about it and not feel uncomfortable). He handled it very well and he actually told me some things about me that I did not know, like when I hurt his feelings and so on and so forth. I think he and I can become even better friends than we have been because now all those feelings are out and we don’t have to hold back anymore because we both and done and over with that part of our past and both are excited for what is in store for each of us in the future as well as our friendship. I am so happy that I can actually check this off my list… I honestly didn’t think that I would be able to do it this soon.

I want to make sure that I can look at my past and feel completely at ease and have no tension. I mean this with my dad, old friends, old relationships, etc.