I texted my brother and he replied. We live in different countries now. Things can often be quite easygoing between us. We go surfing together. I go to his gigs when he plays music. I am fascinated by his archaeology work and we talk about it a lot. However I have always acted like an older brother towards him and definitely far more than I should. I hadn’t fully realised the way things were between until somebody pointed it out to me again recently.
A few years ago one of my best mates highlighted the way I act towards my brother, and I was surprised and saddened but I didn’t change my behaviour. I think I am quite often controlling, negative, patronising, overbearing and overprotective.
I am now seriously trying to reduce and cease this behaviour. I will take it one period at a time.
Some of the ways my German flatmate behaves remind me of myself. He is also the eldest of three brothers. He’s not a bad guy and I get on fairly well with him. His tendency to give orders, make too many suggestions and attempts to influence others are all characteristics of mine.It has been really useful to be the other person in these exchanges with him as I can see and experience the effect this type of behaviour has on others. I think I am improving and moderating these behaviours in myself now.
