1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I think that I would not be much more than 12. Sometimes my mom says that I have some very childish ideas. But I don’t mind that. I actually approve of looking at the world and forming my own views. Similarly, I like thinking that I am the center of my universe.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Even though to me failing is a terrible thing, never trying is so much worse. I want to be able to say to people that I have had a life that was filled with everything new. I need the experiences to be happy with myself.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
I think that there is a deeper human mentality to blame here. We have a certain reference frame what we have to do and how we have to be to make people happy. Otherwise, we disappoint the opinion of what is right and honorable. I know that I have to study well, find a good job, get married and have children. Also, I know that having a traditional family is not the thing that I desire. I want to take my significant other and travel the world. I want to be impulsive. I want to do things on a whim. Learn things that I might never use again. Just because I want to. I don’t really care if I will never have a great job. I just want to do something that I love and to live so that in the end I can just breathe out and say: “You know, this was worth it. We should do it again some time.”
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Sadly yes. For now I have said more than done.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
I would take away the religion. I don’t see it as a good thing. Maybe I am missing out on some part of it, but I see so much hate because of it in the past. How many huge wars have been fought due to religion? How many deaths were in the name of religion? I just can’t see it as right.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Love would make me rich. I love with all of my heart and don’t ask anything in return. But by a happy coincidence, the love has found me back.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
“I believe in what I fight for and I have paid for it in pain.”
This said. I believe in all that I do. I am sure that it all has been worth it.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I don’t think that I would do much differently. I don’t really think that I will live past that anyway. I love taking risks far too much.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
We are each completely responsible for the actions we take. We are the ones who form our world. I am a 100% sure that this life has been controlled only by me.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
I am definitely more worried about doing things right. I am a perfectionist by nature and making mistakes in the things I do, is a horrible thing for me.
I can do the wrong things. Actually, I know that I want to do the wrong things as well. That I see as more of a positive.
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
If I was completely certain that the criticism in unjust, I would demand them to stop. If they do not respect this, I would leave.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Live like there is nothing to lose.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Insanity is a part of creativity. You can’t have one with the other.
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
I settle less.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Everyone has a different character. Similarly, I am terrified of the idea of having children, while to someone else the thought of eventually climbing Everest might seem like a horrible idea. That is our frame of reference.
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
I would take my significant other, pack a backpack and leave. I want to travel everywhere. I suppose that the lack of finance is one thing, and still the thought that it would not be the right thing to do in the eyes of the society also is keeping me away from just doing it. However, I think that eventually we will. The absolute need to do it is edging me on.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
There are some things that have hurt me in life. Some people that I should forgive, but I can’t. I don’t trust people at all and it takes a long time for me to do that. I probably should do that, but it is just something that I am not ready for.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
I would be already in England. I am moving next week, actually. And the answer why is simple – love. I need to be together with the man I love. The rest is unimportant.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Sometimes I do. But no, I don’t. I am just impatient sometimes.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
I guess that I would want to be a worried genius. Intellect is too important for me.
22. Why are you, you?
Because there is no one else I would rather be.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
I can’t really say. Yes and no, I guess. I don’t really have many friends but the ones that I do care for, are important to me. Even though that I might not get in contact with them for ages. I am just not a people person.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
I have done both. Probably losing touch is a bit worse. However, I don’t really see it as a bad thing in particular. If you lose touch, it means that you both have moved on to different things. It happens and there is nothing bad about that.
25. What are you most grateful for?
The fact that my parents love me despite all the retarded things I have pulled.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
This is probably the hardest question for me to answer. I live to have memories, but I need to have new ones. That is the main thing in my life. However, I guess that I would choose losing my memories. I can create new ones after all.
27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
No. The truth must be checked. Otherwise it is not truth at all.
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
No. And I hope that it never will.
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
Not to that scale as it felt at that time. Some of the things have turned out to be completely irrelevant. Some others had an impact on what I am today. There are still many things that drag back to me from past.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
I am not exactly sure that I can distinguish one particular thing. There are many memories that I cherish. I remember fondly the Christmas in my family. How my parents tried to play Santa. How the bag of gifts magically appeared at some time of the evening. How my mom had always written a letter from one of the Elves. It is a worm memory.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
Upon getting a tattoo. It was a thing that I wanted to do for a very long time. A dream come true.
32. If not now, then when?
If not now, then never. No better time out there than now. And knowing me if not know, then I will start procrastinating and never get it done.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Nothing really. That is why I am fighting to achieve my goals no matter how silly they might be. And looks like the Universe is approving of this finally.
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
I can’t really recall a case like that.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because they are too certain that each one is the right one and the others are wrong. Religions are too self-centered to see the general idea.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
Never. What is good for one might be evil for other.
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Not taking into account that I don’t have a job, yes, I would. I would travel the world and do the things that I have always wanted to do but couldn’t because of the money.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
I don’t mind working a lot. I would rather have more work that I love, while doing what I hate seems like a horrible way to live, even if it would give me all of the life’s comforts.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
No. Each day is new and there are new opportunities to grasp. Everyone who sees it as the same thing is missing the things the world is giving to us.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
I live my life like that. Each and every day. No matter how tiny, my ideas are the ones that push me forward.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
I would say goodbyes to my parents and go to my significant other. And I would not leave until it is over.
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
I don’t think so. There are different ways to become famous. And I see myself as decently attractive.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Knowing that what you are doing is right and taking risks.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
At any given moment. The overthinking is the thing that keeps us away from what could be the greatest happiness.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Because we fear to be wrong and get hurt.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Nothing comes to mind. I am certain that what I am doing is right. The opinion of others is unimportant.
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love my man. And I try to let him know every single day.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Yes, I am certain that I will. Every little thing.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
Decisions are only mine to take. I am the only one responsible for myself.