be a good mom

Since I’m not her biological mother… I am trying to provide something for AefA (initials of my daughter’s name) that she doesn’t get from her mother… love, attention and some TLC.

It’s fantastic not going to work these days. I got the report back from unemployment and with what they will pay me per week… add to it the cost of a babysitter and the expense of gas to drive 30 miles one way to work… I am making the same as I would if I were employed. Therefore, it is going to be really hard to get me to find a job that I will accept at this point.

But… I need to look.

While that’s happening, I am a stay at home mommy. I get AefA up at 7:30 and she gets to sleep about 10:30. We do homework, play, watch movies, tidy up, go for walks… take the dogs out and just spend time together. I make sure that she is happy, warm, has clothes and shoes that fit her, has her work done, and learns something about responsibility. I also make sure that she had breakfast, lunch and dinner. The way her school schedule is… lunch and dinner gets blurred.

She eats at 8am… then she might have a snack before going to school at 12:15pm. Then when I pick her up at 3:10 she might have another snack or sandwich. Then we eat again at about 6-ish.

I love being a stay at home mommy. I love not feeling guilty about the things that I didn’t get done, or the words that I said wrong (that still happens sometimes, but not because I’m stressed out from work).

Things are so much better right now.

Blessings,

Shadowchilde

Well, I have been to 2 family counseling sessions so far and they have helped me a lot. Mostly, I get tired and frustrated and then I forget that I’m dealing with a little 6 year old and expect her to understand my explanations.

So… things are improving, of course it helps that I had this weekend to rest, recharge myself and try to get a few things done around here. Also, before I pick up my little darling, I need to get my thoughts organized and posted for what the schedule is for bedtime.

If I can get AefA to sleep my 8:30 every night Sunday through Thursday, the week will go alot better. Also, I need to remember a few other things, that I’m learning about as I go.

1. Keep calm even when she is screaming and crying
2. Read instead of watch a movie to put her to sleep
3. Choose something to do with her, ie color, play dolls, or something
4. establish the rules and post them for both AefA and Me
5. go over them weekly to see how we are doing
6. establish the rewards and the punishments for behaviors and stick to them
7. tell her how much I love her every morning and every night
8. make sure that she brushes her teeth and go potty before bedtime
9. don’t be so hard on myself if I make a mistake.

These will help me greatly. Considering that I am here all alone taking care of a full time job, house that is less than acceptable and a little girl who desperately wants to be loved and to be taken care of.

Today I was given custody to take care of my step daughter. I can now officially get her registered for school, look after her well being, make sure that she is happy and healthy, and tend to any hurt that she might suffer while growing up.

Also, I now have the responsibility to look after her development and try to provide good, happy experiences for her to build upon.

Love… lots of love. Afterall, as of July 26th, we have each other to hold on to while Daddy is away in the Army.