obtain & maintain a Body Mass Index (BMI) within the range of 20-25, which experts generally consider to be healthy.

rotund bag of lard, but the scale says I’m down to 27 even.

27.4 from 27.7. Moving at a snail’s pace, but at least in the right direction.

27.7—down from 27.9 a couple of weeks ago. On the scale it’s a total of a little over two pounds. I joined Sparkpeople yesterday, so I’m hoping this will help keep me on track.

but progress is progress.

27.9 this morning. Down from 28.4 a couple of weeks ago.

As of this morning, my BMI is 28.4, down from 29.1 this time last week.

This might be kind of a long-winded entry. I’m thinking through this and writing it at the same time. I’m hesitant to come up with any kind of plan because I don’t want to diet. I can’t diet. I’ve battled weight much of my life and I know that the times when I’ve been healthiest were when I exercised regularly, drank lots of water, and didn’t overeat. I’ve been drinking water (one of my 43T) and I’ve started a minimal exercise program (which is all I can fit in at the moment), so all that’s left is tackling my eating habits.

This is tough. Several years ago, after a messy break-up, I developed an eating disorder. Food was the drug I used to not have to deal with my emotions or myself. I thought about it constantly. It was what got me out of bed every morning.I planned my day around eating. In a few short months I gained 30 pounds. Thankfully, I discovered Overeaters Anonymous and was able to get help from other people who had their own obsessions with food. Eventually food became what it is for me now—a source of nutrition that can be exciting and creative, as well as a way to commune with others. However, I still eat more than I should.

I eat pretty healthy most of the time—whole grains, lots of vegetables, lean-proteins, healthy fats. It’s just I eat too much of them. I eat to the point of being stuffed with almost every meal. I know what healthy serving sizes are, I just don’t want to follow them.

Which brings me back to my original point—I can’t diet. Counting calories and servings terrifies me because it hearkens back to my days of obsessing over food. Of food being a negative controlling force in my life. I don’t want to give that kind of power to what I eat. So, what I think I’m going to do, no, what I will do, is rate my hunger level with each meal on a scale of 1-10 and stop at 6 or 7 instead of 8 or 9 which is about where I normally stop. I’m also going to try to fit in more fruits and vegetables. I get about 3 servings a day, and I can certainly increase that. I’m going to do this starting now!

Currently my BMI is 29.1. I haven’t developed a specific plan yet for bringing it down. But I know I need to do something. After 2 babies (and the concomitant weight gain) and 40 lurking just around the corner, I need to take this goal seriously.