pay off my debts

Haven’t written an entry in forever…but I’m making steady progress. In fact, I’ve paid off yet another account, and this one was huge, in terms of original balance AND in terms of the monthly payment. So that payment, which is enormous, will roll to the next card down. They’re falling now like dominoes – I will pay off one at the beginning of August, one at the beginning of September, and one in December. Which only leaves one last account, which will pay off in March unless my year-end bonus is good, in which case I may be able to pay off completely in December or the first of January.

There’s no real difference in my money situation at the moment – things are as tight as ever, and in fact are unpleasantly tight, with gas prices and food prices skyrocketing…but somehow, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel makes it more bearable. I do have to pay property taxes, which might require the bonus and so might interfere with early payoff – but worst case scenario, I’m paid off in March. I cannot even begin to describe how good it feels to know that I am this close.

As hard as it was, I am so glad I worked the second job. It’s made all the difference not only in time to pay off, but in my mind state. I know that I’ve worked really hard to do this and that feels great.

Well, it’s been a while; I’ve been very busy and haven’t had time to write, but I paid off another one at the end of December. This one wasn’t on the debt management plan, it’s actually more of a revolving line of credit, but I was making only minimum payments on it. I paid it off completely when I got my bonus at the end of the year. So even though it doesn’t speed up my payoff of the debt management plan, it is a huge dent in my overall debt and I am very very happy about it. That leaves me with only two accounts that are not on the debt management plan, both of which are in excellent standing and which I will keep. One is through Sam’s Club – not getting rid of that unless I cancel my membership, as they’re linked – and the other is my one and only failsafe credit card that I have to keep so I will have one. I don’t use it, in fact I have the card locked away so I CAN’T, but I will need it for hotel reservations, etc.

Meanwhile I have gotten the promotion at my main job, and am leaving my second job as of this Friday. I am not certain how much extra I will be bringing home, and it may slow down the overall payoff, but I am okay with that. By working the second job for six months, I have shortened total payoff time by over a year already, so I have to feel good about that.

At this point, worst-case scenario (no extra payments at all), I will be paid off in March of next year. Three extra months, in exchange for my nights and weekends back and being able to actually be a part of my family again. Well worth it.

I’m feeling pretty good about this one despite the fact that I have NO money and won’t for at least another year. It’ll be well worth it in the end…I am LOVING those statements with the zero balances. :-)

Big day for me…I just scheduled the next payment on the debt management plan – which includes the final payoff on another credit card!!!! This was a much bigger one than the last two, so I am so far beyond overjoyed that I can’t even express it.

The payment on that has rolled to the next one, which (if all goes well) will be paid off in April. After that, they start falling like dominoes. And if things go at my first job the way they are SUPPOSED to go, it will happen even faster. I am not counting on that (it would allow me to quit the second job and still be able to make extra payments (bigger ones), and though I would still be working just as many hours, at least they would all be here, and in comfort and relative peace) but it is a possibility that should come to be, barring disaster.

Worst case scenario, though (well, not worst case, because there are tons of money-sucking disasters that could befall, but assuming I quit the second job in May and don’t get the extra project here) I will still be paid off by December of 2008. One more year, and I can start living like a normal person again.

It’s a long, ugly battle, but I am winning it, and it feels so good!

Well, I opened the credit card statements this month to see that after this month’s extra payment, one of the cards will be pay-off-able with one more extra payment! After that all the money will go to the next one and so on – and the next one will only take about three payments to pay off. I am finally seeing real progress and I am so unutterably happy about it!

The second job is wearing me out, I will admit, and I have thought about quitting so many times, but I just refuse to give up or admit that I can’t do something. I am really glad for that little personality quirk right now, because it’s making things happen in a good way.

I still have quite a ways to go, but at least I can see that I’m moving. I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but at least there are marks on the walls so I can see forward progress! :-)

Okay, I have decided I hate my second job with a raging passion.

Well, that’s not completely accurate. I don’t hate the second job. If it were my only job, it wouldn’t be that bad. I hate having two jobs and the stress and fatigue that result.

I may have come up with a solution to that though. I have proposed to our senior partner that I work here, evenings and weekends, instead of at my other job. There is a major scanning project that needs doing but no one to do it, and it would be a perfect solution. Grunt work, but no more so than my second job, and it does need someone who understands the files to do it.

He liked the idea; seemed to like it a lot, in fact, and to think it was a good solution to my problem and his. It remains to be seen whether or not it will be implemented, but at least I know he liked the idea.

He also mentioned (unprompted by me!) his intention to promote me at some point, when the cash flow in our department is more consistent, which gives me a great deal of hope. It may in fact happen someday, after all.

All of this makes me feel pretty good and rather hopeful that I may be able to continue making progress on this goal (paying off my debts) without continuing to exhaust myself and neglect my family. All in all, the future is looking somewhat bright.

And if it doesn’t pan out, I’ll just stick with the second job, no matter how much I hate it. It will be so worth it when all those balances read “zero”.

Okay, I just scheduled my second “extra” payment on the debt management plan. It feels so good to do that – it’s a little scary, too, because I tend to want to hoard money instead of putting it where it needs to be – part of the reason I got here, it was always easier to use credit cards than to pony up the actual cash for emergencies and things, because I always thought, “But what if I NEED that money later?” Stupid. But there you go.

So payment number two is made, or will be on the 2nd, and I am getting there. That payment will put the balance on that card under $1,000. If things go the way they are supposed to in the next month or so, I might be able to pay that off next month. How awesome it would be to see that kind of progress!

I just wish it were faster, but at least this way I know that I have earned it and worked for it and can feel really good about it.

Nothing new really…but I’m still plugging away. The debt management payment for next month – which I need to schedule today – will be bigger than last month. And the following payment will be even bigger, as my hours are heinous for the next two weeks. They will probably be that way from here on out, at least through the end of the year. It makes me very tired to think about, but will be really good for the bank account.

The plan at this point is to keep up the second job at least until the end of May. If I quit at the end of May, that will leave me paying off (at my normal payment rate) in October, assuming a bonus at this job. No bonus would put me paying off in December. Still not bad, but not great.

I’m having to balance the demands of the second job, though, with the needs of the family and my own sanity. I don’t think I can handle another summer of a second job, particularly when it would only put me paying off a month or two earlier than if I quit at the end of May.

Either way, I have cut more than a year off the program, and I think that’s pretty awesome. I still have a couple of little accounts that are not on the program, that will have to be paid off after I’m done with the program, but they aren’t much and honestly, they may be paid off before then. I’m not using them at all and I’m making more than the minimum payment on them, so hopefully they will be a non-issue, or at least can be paid off in the first month or two after the program ends.

It is really difficult for me to be patient and get through a long-term plan like this. I am very immediate and want everything right now; I have always been that way, which is a big part of how I got into this situation. Can’t wait to save up for something, just have to use a credit card!

But I am learning. This experience has taught me a LOT – it has taught me that (a) I can wait, if I have to; (b) my time is a lot more valuable than I ever realized and should not be wasted; (c) I am capable of a lot more than I thought – I always felt too tired at the end of the day to do anything around the house, but if I can go work for another four hours, then I ought to be able to do some laundry or clean a bathroom when I don’t have to work. Oh, and (d) money is not to be squandered! :-)

I’m getting there. It’s just like losing weight – there aren’t any magic words or shortcuts, you just have to do the work.

No real change since the last post, but I just will be so glad when I can finally mark this one done. This has been hanging over my head for so long, I cannot even imagine that enormous weight off.

I will quit the second job when I have all this crap paid off, so I will simultaneously have spare time AND money. My Lord, I am going to think I have died and gone to heaven!

It’s a ways away, but I can’t wait for it.

I have been working two jobs for about six weeks now. It was fine at first, then a little rocky as the novelty wore off…but I think I am beginning to settle into a rhythm. My first two weeks were really heavy on the hours, then I had a week off…then two more very very heavy weeks. That was the hard part, realizing that this is for the long haul and it’s eating up nearly all my personal time. Missed my family horribly and felt crushingly guilty for never being there…

I still have those feelings somewhat, but I have discovered two things. First, (and I already knew this) you can’t sustain such enormous levels of any feeling for too long; your mind just adjusts and you learn to cope. Second, a lot if it was not so much guilt as feeling sorry for myself that these people coming through the store had free time and were with their families, and I wasn’t.

Once I realized this, I was able to get over a lot of it because frankly, it’s stupid to feel sorry for myself when I made the situation what it is. So enough of that.

Anyway…it’s better now. I am on my second week of very light hours, which is not so great money-wise but wonderful for my ability to handle it and be reasonably happy. Even at these hours, if they were to continue (which they won’t, sadly) I would be paying $400 a month extra on the debt management plan, and would be out of debt by next fall. That’s assuming no Christmas bonus or extra windfalls. With heavier hours, it will be even sooner.

Next week my hours increase again, and I know that with the holiday season they will be even higher, so I feel good about the money aspect. I made my first extra payment (or will on the 2nd) and that feels so good that I think the euphoria will carry me at least a couple of weeks.

I still resent the time away from my family, the inability to ANYTHING fun – I had Saturday off and got to go out on the boat for the first time in forever, and that was nice, though – but now that I recognize the emotion for what it is, I can get through it with a stern, “tough-love” talking to from myself. I have made my bed and now I get to lie in it, bedbugs and all.

But it helps to know that I am getting there. I will have the first card paid off in October, at this rate, and that will be HUGE.

Still working on it! Scott paid off the big credit card, so I will need to pay him back for that but he says he is not in any hurry.

I have a second job now, from which ALL proceeds go directly to the debt management plan. By my calculations, assuming a certain minimum income from that job – and I estimated low! – and assuming I can stick with it, I should be debt-free by Fall 2008. It seems like a long time but I know how fast the LAST year has gone by, so maybe it won’t be so bad.

That’s also assuming I don’t get fired from my first job for having a second job in the first place. Other people here have done it and it wouldn’t seem fair if I were penalized for something that is overlooked in other people…but that’s not to say it wouldn’t happen. But at this point, it’s a risk I really have to take. I have no other options.

So it’s going. We will see how long and how well.