start meditating regularly.

I did this…I don’t think I’ve managed to achieve “regularly” yet, but I am doing it every chance I get. My goal is to do it each morning, so I’m making progress but can’t officially call it a habit yet.

I always feel so good when I do it. Today the “earthlight” was yellow-green, which I interpret to mean that I needed energy and some healing. Fairly appropriate, and I do feel it. I have been very productive and fairly positive today. I really need to remember to do this every day, it makes such a difference.

Didn’t get to meditate this morning; forgot to have Scott set the early alarm. Lost half an hour which threw me more like an hour behind. Barely made it to work on time and didn’t get anything done.

Plus I miss the peace of mind. Definitely this needs to be top priority. I will do it tonight after I work out.

Another good session today. If nothing else, this really helps to clear my head and start me off with some sort of balance. I don’t know how long I will maintain that - probably just until everyone else gets out of bed - but at least I’m starting off with it.

And I LOVE the way it gets rid of my first-thing-in-the-morning nausea that I have when I’m tense or worried about something. That alone is well worth the 15 minutes.

Now I just wish I could sleep till the alarm goes off. The Sleep Easy meditation is nice but last night it just didn’t get it. I think I was just way too tense and that green tea just before bed probably wasn’t all that wise. Even a little caffeine was not what I needed.

Anyway, we’re making real progress on this.

I had a good session this morning. I really like Robert Neely’s “Fill With Light” guided meditation. His diction is a little mushy and that threw me off at first but now that I’ve gotten used to it I’m really getting a lot out of it.

It’s funny how I never know what color the “earth light” will be. He says “according to what you need the most” and I don’t know if it comes from my subconscious or something else, but it’s always a little different. The first few times it was a variation on blue or blue-green…which I think of as cleansing and calming and revitalization. Today it was completely different, starting out as a rich, earthy brown that became a light golden brown as it went on. At first I thought, calm, strength…and I think that was sort of right, but as I sat, the word “peace” seemed to become more appropriate than “calm”, and “healing” inserted itself. The golden light is healing, no question, and I think the white light that you start with is just a very clean, warm energy that washes away whatever you’re starting out with.

I had the sensation of extreme warmth all over my body again today, as the white light filled me, which I found scary at first but am now really enjoying. It really does wash away all the confused nonsense that I start with…

I love that I can sit down to do this, feeling literally sick at my stomach from nerves and stress and whatever, and come away from it feeling so centered and in control and calm. However goofy and out-there this may all sound, it’s well worth it to obtain that sense of balance.

Well, I’ve already made a start on this. That is to say, I did the “Sleep Easy” meditation last night and four nights ago. Night before last, I couldn’t because Scott was sleeping half on top of me…the night before that I was so sick all I could concentrate on was trying (unsuccessfully) to suppress a sneeze.

I’ve been trying to do my “Fill With Light” meditation each morning, as well. Well, I managed that once, on about Tuesday, and then about midday on Wednesday when I was home sick. Every other time I’ve tried, for some reason, other people decide to get up early and want to talk to me. ARGH.

Time and opportunity are going to definitely be the obstacles to this one. I am going to have to put my foot down and just rope off “meditation time” to make it happen, and I’m not sure if I’m up to that yet. I already have roped-off “exercise time” and “Brennah time” and “Tiara time” and so many other things that I’m seriously cutting into “sleep time” and “eating time”. Sigh.

But it will happen. When I did the Fill With Light meditation, I swear it felt at one point like my body caught fire. Talk about WIERD; it was actually a little scary. But that didn’t happen the second time. Probably just a hot flash.

But I will do this! I know that it will improve my focus and clarity of mind, which sadly needs doing, as well as helping me to stay centered and calm. Also sadly needs doing!