stay sober

I was part of a close-knit secret group, and apparently one or two other members who were recovering alcoholics asked the moderators if people could put pictures of bottles of wine and cocktails, and discussions of excessive drinking, under a trigger warning or a “cut.”

I appreciated the suggestion, because while I like these people, they LOVE TO DRINK, and sometimes being confronted with a whole page of DRINKING DRINKING DRINKING rouses serious temptations in me. It all looks so delicious and fun…

Most people in the group scoffed at the suggestion and thought it was ridiculous. I wouldn’t have minded if they had said no, but some of the things they said were so spiteful and dismissive that they hurt my feelings quite a bit. They know my story: alcohol exacerbated my depression and led to strong suicidal urges. It was a terrible part of my life.

So this is another group I’ve left. It’s just as well, because I am working every day at my goal of limited Internet time, and that group can be a time suck.

It just makes me appreciate all the more what an understanding, sensitive, and wise community 43T is…my corner of it, anyway. It’s really something special and I really appreciate everybody here

and a good cry.

Bad stuff at work today.

I guess I’ll settle for a good cry and a bath and a romance novel.

I know it’s polite to give credit to a higher power and all that, but to be honest, I give almost all of the credit to myself.

I am kicking ass and will continue to do so!

Very proud of myself!

The night before I hit 100, I wanted some wine soo badly, but these cravings go away when you don’t give into them.

Everyone was so supportive and nice about it, which was very motivating. :)

I haven’t been able to do this by myself in the past. I actually went to an AA meeting last Sunday, and I kind of liked it. I think I may go again on Friday.

I don’t have the scary experiences many other members have. I’ve never driven while I was drunk, or even tipsy. I haven’t caused anyone trouble except myself. My meds don’t mix with alcohol, so I often substitute alcohol for my meds, and that is bullshit. I know what kind of a mess that can get me in, and I’d rather stop it right now.