Move the hell out of the Projects.

When we first moved in here there was no grass at all in front of my apartment. I got some grass seed and put it down. I watered the empty lot daily and added more seeds every few weeks. Finally little bits of grass began to emerge. I was so happy. It looked so much better. I got pots and planted flowers. Everynight I’d sit outside and watch the sprinkler twirling water on the grass. It was the most peace I’d felt here. It was so nice to have a yard. It made me realize how much I missed that little bit of normalacy. Sometimes I’d dream of the day I could have a real garden again…..Flowers and veggies. My neighbor took a wrench and broke the water spout off. I can’t water now. The grass is slowly dying and turning brown.

Everytime I think I am finally going to land on my feet something happens and we are back on square one again. I hate this place so bad. My dream of getting out of here seams so far away.

My biggest obstacle is getting my childrens dads to pay thier childsupport so I can afford childcare so I can work fulltime. I really desperately want that. I’m getting no where with the childsupport office though.

I wish I had friends or family to help sometimes. Its so overwhelming at times to know that I’m in this alone.

I’m just tired of being here after 5 months. I’ve never lived some where where people just throw their trash out in to the court yard or don’t watch thier kids. Everyday there are kids running around outside from early morning until late at night wearing dirty underwear from the day before. Needless to say we just don’t fit in here and I have higher standards for my family and myself. I’m dreaming of the day we will be out of here for good. I’ll just keep my head up and keep working at it. Someday we will have the life I’m so desperately dreaming of.