what it would be like to have someone to share my life with again. I wonder what a healthy marraige feels like and what its like to have another person care about you. My first husband abandoned me three months into our marraige when we found out I was pregnant. I was only 19. I wonder what its like to be with someone who won’t bail the first moment things get rough. I wonder what my life and my son’s life would be like if his father had been a braver stronger person.
My second husband was abusive and cruel. He never had anything nice to say towards my son and I. Now he’s stolen our daughter away. I wonder what its like to feel loved and safe in a relationship. I wonder what its like to live in a happy marraige and in a happy home. I wonder what its like to know that your with someone who loves you unconditionally and would never do anything to intentionally hurt you.
When I was younger I’d think about getting married and raising a family. I wanted a really simple life. I didn’t want much just a loving home and a good man to love and care for. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve being treated so badly.
Its sad but even though I’ve been hurt so badly I still want to try again and again in the hopes that I will find love. Even sadder that if I found it I wouldn’t be able to trust that it was love. I’m only 28.
