STOP BEING GAY

Please, join us at: http://www.43things.com/things/view/19747/stop-masturbating We can help each other and learn so much. The site has many active members who post daily or several times a day.
Putting an end to gay pornography is the key step. It represents a false and rotten sanctuary from emotional issues, masturbating is making us anxious and emotionally numb to figure out our deeper feelings and it increases the feelings of inferiority and guilt with which we can’t progress.

Guys, you should read this. I noticed I fit into this description on so many levels http://narth.com/docs/hom101.html

Now when some tiny changes began by themselves, I feel that I’m a bit closer to realizing the gravity of my problems.
It’s not just the sexual nature. I am not who I am. I am not who I want to be.
Many people, maybe even you while reading this, would say “That’s it! You should accept yourself who you are. You can’t be who you’re not”, and there is some truth to that, but only partially. I should definitely accept where I am right now and there certainly are some things that I can’t be even if I want to. But this is not the case, for the first time in my life, I’m sure.

It’s not that, except that my attraction is pointed to other guys, my personality operates completely normal so we can say “there’s no disease to cure”. No, today I learned that everything that I am is somehow invisible to the other people, and to me as well.
For example, today I had a wonderful chat with a female colleague from university and, in the end, she told me that she’s so glad she had the wrong opinion about me all this time, because she thought I wasn’t a communicative person.
I’m very glad about this, as well, but I’m displeased that she had such an opinion about me. Actually, I still can’t figure it out what’s going on! I know that I am shy, constantly melancholic and I easily get unpleasant feeling when talking to people, but I never wanted to push people away from me. I always thought, and I still am, that I was the one being pushed away and that people don’t want to talk to me.
There are many people who are in communication circles and consider themselves very communicative, but aren’t able to show any compassion about people they’re talking to. And I very care about other peoples’ feelings, I always try hardly not to hurt anyone, but still, always end up wandering did I do something wrong. I love people and I really want to be with them, but somehow, I always end up alone…

So, to conclude this, I was not born or raised to be different. I am very fragile and confused person who is not ready to be integrated in life and love and be happy. And I’m reaally aware of the fact that maybe…just maybe, we live only once. So I choose to fight my problems and start living the way I want, instead of enduring this life (or even enidng it) hoping that there’s something better afterwards.

Hello! This is my story. It has some pretty dark details about me. Don’t like-don’t comment
My entire puberty I’ve been blindly struggling with my sexuality not realizing what’s beneath it. I was constantly hiding my nature because I was afraid that I love men and that’s it. However, a month ago, when I made this account, I opened up to 1 wise person I was certain knows me the best-my father. The reason I never done it before is because I was afraid and I didn’t believe that two of us were strong enough mentally to communicate that way.

I was surprised that he didn’t panic at all. He was a bit surprised but he told me that he assumed that I have some important growing-up pains, but couldn’t help because I couldn’t open to anybody. Then I tried to explain to him exactly how I see my problem. We talked a bit, and we concluded something that I always knew, I just didn’t want to accept it. Because of the serious family issues we had for a very long time (we just started fixing it), I was constantly neglected by my family. As I was growing up, I became all less and less social, more and more overweight and I was sometimes abused by children at school, mostly in locker room. I hated myself. As my puberty kicked in, it all turned into a nigtmare. I was having wild scary dreams about handsome guy coming into a room while I’m sitting on a bed, unbuckling his belt and ordering me to strip my shorts because he’s going to spank me, some smacks by his hand, some by belt. That turned into an ultimate fantasy that seemed to me like an idea of a real sexual pleasure.

To make things even more complicated, the remains of my ego were against the masochism too, so my idea about sexuality was completely shattered. I became afraid of women, afraid of men, afraid of myself…I still cannot imagine myself having sex, with a woman or a man. My subconscious desires are to watch a man undressing, pet his POWERFUL body, undress myself full of shame and hatred towards myself and get humiliated (spanked, touched where I don’t want to, forced into oral sex) Consciously, I knew that sex is an essential need of a man, but subconsciously, I was afraid of it because my role in it, as I see myself, is quite unfortunate…so and masturbated only when I have to. I channeled my love towards women through drawing female portraits all the time.
But now I’m certain-my sexuality is not something that I can’t shape into something I will like. I don’t think men are more beautiful then women, I was attracted and scared at the same time by a muscled healthy male body full of self esteem and dominance- which is something I should acquire (be less passive, a bit more aggressive when needed; I should do my best to look like a hunk)
That is something I CAN DO, and the key is building my personality, building my body and learning that I’m free. I cannot allow myself to be dominated (even outside reality, in my dreams) by a dominant male eyes, body and an imaginary belt. When I become free, I will be able to choose with whom to fall in love and I’m positive that will be a pretty gentle girl I deserve :)
Like I said, I added this goal a month ago, when I was different: scared, full of hate towards people around me and myself. Now things aren’t totally different, but are noticeably better. In a year or two, I’ll be someone I want to be.