but the external changes are: new work as part of a career change; roommates who I get along with better, and a new school program. There may be a serious relationship underway.

The internal changes are increased focus and discipline, much greater understanding of human behaviour, and more compassion in general.

All of this isn’t as much change as I’d hoped for. I had hoped for the relationship to be real and established and fulfilling. I had hoped to be in a different place. I had hoped for something more personal in my work to be underway, rather than continuing more preparation as the perpetual student. But it is still forward movement nonetheless.

But honestly, it was already on my radar, I just didn’t think/get around to making it a public challenge until today, and I was supposed to do my goal work (and more homework than I actually got done!) yesterday.

I have been thinking about what I have to say for tomorrow when I click this goal done/not done.

I have some review today – compressed by homework and work requirements – and tonight I have a date with a certain significant someone. I will see whether that can turn out to be a summit of sorts.

My life is different now. Let’s see, once I have adjusted to life here (maybe by Friday?), if I can polish off something to work on for the remaining 4 weeks so that I can say “yes, Universe, my life really, truly is different.” And then I’ll make my report.

I have a quote here I pulled from the first chapter of Get Things Done (my experiment with its principles failed in my personal life, perhaps, but maybe reading the actual book may help): “We can never really be prepared for that which is wholly new. We have to adjust ourselves, and every radical adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem: we undergo a test, we have to prove ourselves. It needs subordinate self-confidence to face drastic change without inner trembling.” – Eric Hoffer

What my Higher Self has called me to do and be. Which I know many facets of, but I get lost in the process and details.

I better find it tomorrow, revise it, and jot down the major points here on 43T in this entry. I can compare it to what else i’ve got going, and what my routines will be.

Here goes:

Purpose. To do work that engages me and meets my needs, the needs of others, and some true needs of the world. I will have a good network of friends. I take care of myself. I enjoy myself and the rest of the world with money I earned. I volunteer my time and resources to good causes to drive them forward, and hope to offer others stability and love and a positive life.

That is general. I will make it specific on my own. And I have fit many of my 43T goals into the meaningful parts of my Purpose. Time to challenge myself and stick to the path of discipline and honesty.

One more thing: A Purpose (being the eighth) should have the other seven elements of Eudaemonia:
feeling happy
acceptance
autonomy
mastery
integration
contribution
acceptance of others

http://coach.monster.ca/11097_en-CA_pf.asp has an excellent article that got me fired up before I even read 1/3 of it.

Self-discipline is about what many of my goals are really about. I am going to ask the Robots again if they can make us a way we can nest our 43 goals – tags are not enough, I don’t think.

I am also overambitious again in the 43 Goals because there is no way one can do them on an ongoing basis without being an über-disciplined person, fully structuring his or her own time.

Nonetheless: Self Discipline Will Bring Me a Different Life Than I Had Last Year.

And I have three months in which I can still do it!

No! Hell, no! Three more months.

- new work, and new work ethic.
- new projects
- new religion
- new school?
- new home?
- new boyfriend, or not.

1) Very much reduced care of pets. Not a cramp in my stay-over plans anywhere.
2) Easy with money. I let myself spend some on stuff that seems to go “over the shoulder” (that’s the metaphor my tired brain is using right now).
3) Adequate and not too much sleep. Except at R’s place.
4) Often over at R’s. Him coming over to mine too.
5) Great shoes and clothes.
6) Exercise every day. Or almost every day, the break days are just as important.
7) Travel for fun and for a reason.

R gave me a lecture the other day about taking the nucleus of what I actually do need from all the things I do, and getting rid of everything else. He insists that I need to do this today or tomorrow! as he said emphatically. He stripped it of all emotion and said that the nucleus of the things I do has to do with emotional reasons, but I’m getting lost in the process, and this is what tons of people do, and I, like they, have a failure fantasy or else I’d be focusing on what needs to be done.

It was a tough lecture. I also made it clear that this is something I’d been in the process of doing since before he came in to my life, and clearly I need to do more.

So. I’ve been having a different life, in a way, from what it was last year this time. And definitely a turnaround from the life I had before, two years, even a year and a half ago. But it isn’t enough. Or, because it’s so gradual… I don’t really notice.

I realized that I had not accomplished everything I’d set out to accomplish since late September, and I only have another couple of weeks to hit the six-month mark. I am feeling quite frustrated now.

I have made a document of this goal and I sliced it up into weekly Progress Report files to save on my hard drive and make a general reminder to do my progress reports on Saturdays and Sundays. After I did the copy/paste, I then deleted all the progress report entries to this goal as they’re just cluttering up this goal for everyone else. However I didn’t delete everything, esp. not entries that had comments (I won’t sacrifice those, just a few cheers).

I also created empty progress report files for all the weeks I have remaining of employment insurance, to make sure I keep in mind that yes, there is a completion date to this project of changing my life that is in advance of September 18, 2007. I have a very important date of June 23, 2007, because that will have been one year since I came back from Europe and was laid off from my old job. It is important to me that something be very different in my life and how I conduct my life by that date.

Revisit:

• What do you hope to have achieved with your life five years from now?
• What plans, priorities, and hopes would you like to have realized by a year from now?
• What is your plan for the next month?
• What is your plan for this coming week?
• What is your plan for today?

Two interviews last week went well. Action: for one, if I don’t get the PA internship, I can still go in a half-day or day here and there and do something productive in order to learn. The other: Waiting. They were not expecting me to be so advanced so they have to discuss to see if there’s a place they can put me that will benefit us the most.

I got a Norsk fridge magnet poetry kit so I have a reason to expand my vocabulary in advance of going to Denmark/Sweden/Norway.

I’m understanding more about the technical stuff I need to know about film, thanks to the homework I’ve been assigned. I will need to read more about management, too.

Things are on track.