stop living in the past

I have written before about my husband living in the past and wanting to stay a little boy …forgetting about any kind of responsibility for his family. Well… I have decided my goal is to get out of HIS past and travel on without him and to seek freedom & happiness!!! This is the year this will happen!!! Ahhhhh….AMEN!!

I have been married for alittle over 10 years. My husband and I married the same year his parents died. Father died New Years Eve and mother died three months later in April. We got married in September of that same year. Granted….we should never have gotten married until he got past the mourning of his parents. My husband wanted his parents house from the estate and bought out his sisters to get the house. He wanted the house because his Dad built it. We have lived here for entire married life now. I thought we would just live here until he accepted their death and then we would move on to have our own life together….start fresh making new memories in our lives. NOT! I cannot say anything bad about the house or my husband takes it as a personal attack against his parents. This will never be MY home as I cannot even change the color of the carpet because his parents chose that carpet together 30 years ago. It’s avocado green for God’s sake!! No changes can be made to the house as it will alter his memories of growing up here. He lives in the past and even sleeps with a blankie he had as a little boy. He was mean to his parents and now is trying to make up for that by walking around wearing an Army jacket like his Dad would have worn in WWII and looks in every military store to find the patches that his Dad would have earned while serving in the Army. It has become an obsession with him. He looks like a kid playing pretend play dress-up!! It’s like he wants to show his Dad NOW that he was proud of his service in the war because he never expressed pride to him while he was alive. My husband buys things like Go-Carts and Hot Wheel cars because his parents never bought him a Go-Cart like he wanted when he was little. And the Hot Wheels cars… his Dad threw his away when he was a teenager and he resents that and now is trying to get even with his Dad by lining up Hot Wheels cars on all the walls in the basement. It’s pathetic!! He needs help and he is robbing me of any bright future because he is making me live his past. So if any of you out there have problems dealing with the past…. take it from me….. you effect those around you with your need to hold onto something that is impossible to hold onto and no reward will come of it. It is an anchor and it will weigh you down!! Lift that box of memories off of you and don’t look back in the box. You KNOW what’s in the box and that is all that matters. Go forward and live your life!! My husband wants to be a little boy where his life was less complicating and was a fun time. He never ever moved outside the only home he ever knew. He has not become a man!! LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST!! Signed…. a Sad Adult Woman/Wife

I have been married for alittle over 10 years. My husband and I married the same year his parents died. Father died New Years Eve and mother died three months later in April. We got married in September of that same year. Granted….we should never have gotten married until he got past the mourning of his parents. My husband wanted his parents house from the estate and bought out his sisters to get the house. He wanted the house because his Dad built it. We have lived here for entire married life now. I thought we would just live here until he accepted their death and then we would move on to have our own life together….start fresh making new memories in our lives. NOT! I cannot say anything bad about the house or my husband takes it as a personal attack against his parents. This will never be MY home as I cannot even change the color of the carpet because his parents chose that carpet together 30 years ago. It’s avocado green for God’s sake!! No changes can be made to the house as it will alter his memories of growing up here. He lives in the past and even sleeps with a blankie he had as a little boy. He was mean to his parents and now is trying to make up for that by walking around wearing an Army jacket like his Dad would have worn in WWII and looks in every military store to find the patches that his Dad would have earned while serving in the Army. It has become an obsession with him. He looks like a kid playing pretend play dress-up!! It’s like he wants to show his Dad NOW that he was proud of his service in the war because he never expressed pride to him while he was alive. My husband buys things like Go-Carts and Hot Wheel cars because his parents never bought him a Go-Cart like he wanted when he was little. And the Hot Wheels cars… his Dad threw his away when he was a teenager and he resents that and now is trying to get even with his Dad by lining up Hot Wheels cars on all the walls in the basement. It’s pathetic!! He needs help and he is robbing me of any bright future because he is making me live his past. So if any of you out there have problems dealing with the past…. take it from me….. you effect those around you with your need to hold onto something that is impossible to hold onto and no reward will come of it. It is an anchor and it will weigh you down!! Lift that box of memories off of you and don’t look back in the box. You KNOW what’s in the box and that is all that matters. Go forward and live your life!! My husband wants to be a little boy where his life was less complicating and was a fun time. He never ever moved outside the only home he ever knew. He has not become a man!! LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST!! Signed…. a Sad Adult Woman/Wife