appreciate my husband

he’s put up with a lot lately from me.

I was doing pretty good on this goal, being very loving and appreciating my husband…until yesterday. He made a mistake on something that was important and I ran my mouth. It just came out “what were you thinking..etc..etc..”

I was so mad and I had to leave anyway to work some extra hours. So when I get home hubby wants to talk. He says “you think….” which was exactly what I was thinking. My somewhat hesitant “nnooo I don’t really think that” did not throw him. I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep so I did.

I hate hurting his feelings, but at the same time I have to say it like I see it once in a while.

So….

No headboard banging on the wall for me. Guess I’ll have to tune into the neighbors.

I’m having a horrendous time and poor hubby wants to help but can’t seem to say the right thing – which is to say nothing. I’ve been getting into it with my mother and her complete unwillingness to come see me, but sends me lengthy emails about all the fun she is having with my cousin. Receiving all these emails knowing she won’t even take the time (she’s retired and has plenty of $$) to come visit, hurts terribly and I’ve been quite depressed. Hubby’s psychoanalysis of possible reasons for her behavior sends me into orbit, poor guy.

Then I get some terse message at work about “procedure” when I followed everything correctly. So I sent a gratifyingly bitchy reply to which hubby commented “you should watch out, you could get fired.” What? My mother just took possession of my husband and forced him to say those words. Steam blew from my ears. I don’t even remember what I said.

I wish there was some hut in the woods I could retreat to and not come out for a week. A drink and a ciggy sounds so good right now, I’ve not had either in 3.5 years.

Stay strong…don’t give into temptation.

Sigh, I’m going home.

1. I met my husband
2. He is here by my side
3. I’m still crazy and full of love for him as ever and feel the same from him.

We aren’t planning on getting pregnant, and I’ve had to run to the store to grab a pregnancy test before. This time, however, I thought it actually might be true. At first I felt scared, then relieved when the test said negative. Then about 30 minutes later I started crying.
Somewhere under my fear and thinking “this is not the right time” I wanted this, and it was somewhat of a let down. Hubby was sweet to me and just let me cry it out.

He would tell you he always cleans but actually he straightens up. Not the same thing. I got a last minute call for a friend to come visit that I turned down thinking “geez, we’d need a week to clean up this house.”

My husband, knowing I need social contact much more than he does, said “if you want your friend to come I’ll spend the entire day cleaning.” And he did.

He melts my heart sometimes.