get pregnant

Peppi Le Pew says “Le Sigh” often… and I know how he feels. In love with an idea and patiently chasing it… but just as you get close, it is gone again. He just smiles and hops on after his lovely idea, never quitting, just: ‘le sigh’. I like this analogy. Makes me feel more positive anyway.

No trip. One more month and we’re supposed to visit the Dr for tests. I just want to know that we can or can’t get pregnant. There’s no obvious reasons we can’t. Continuing to try for it. The BBT thing is kinda funny… a little inconsistent graph where the peak is supposed to be the ‘best time’. One question: Which peak? The highest one or one of the somewhat high ones right before that? LOL, I’m keeping up with it but putting more stock in prayer and frequent sex!!

Have a big trip planned for Labor day and my Mother has been causing stress for us so we decided to go back to not ‘trying’ for a month or two. I’ll still keep up with the BBT so I’ll have a chart to go by when we start again in September. I just feel sad. Why can’t she leave us alone? Why is it taking so long for us to get pregnant? This is hard for me since I’m so goal oriented. I’m hoping the little break will help reduce frustration so we can start trying again with fewer worries.

She got me on the BBT chart thing. :-P Follow up in 3 months. Wish me luck over the next 3 months! (that will have equalled almost a YEAR of trying!) Also: I wish the best for everyone else! Your posts keep the frustration at bay!

Another month has gone by, no luck. I’m sneaking peaks at the baby section when we walk into a store and subconsciously planning a nursery. I’m shopping for other things to re-focus: a waterproof camera, new tack for my horse, sofas, planning trips that may not happen… all stuff that can wait and isn’t needed and doesn’t jive with my savings plan. I have auburn hair and I swear I have seen more redheaded children under the age of 4 in the last few months than I have ever noticed in my LIFE!! LOL! Plus stress relieving activities (like reading and tai chi) are seeming more dull, so the stress/ anxiousness is building. Not healthy in itself. My husband’s brother now has 2 children, 3 and 1 years. Cute as all get out and really well behaved. His brother is younger than ME!! I’m not complaining, but I’m kinda jealous that it happens so easy for some other people. Plus my husband LOVES them and he gets them laughing and playing games so easily. He is so kind-hearted and would make an incredible father, though I think it makes him nervous. It’s cute. The ‘get more frisky’ part of the steps has been difficult with travel and family issues lately. I hope that will be less of an issue now. I just catch myself daydreaming about teaching a child of our own while I re-shelve my books. Oh, frustrating!! Ok, now the wait begins again. But so does the fun. I guess I’ll have to utilize that imagination of mine:-)

Why not write steps for this one too? I’m mostly writing this entry to ease my mind- we are approaching the 7 month mark.
Step one was start trying and stop trying to avoid it. DONE.
Step two is plot ovulation calender, eat better, take vitamins, stop any possible alcohol intake, and get more frisky! DONE.
Step three is after trying one year, go see my lady doctor for more thorough check up. I hope I never need step 3. I hate going to the doctor as it is. Oh yeah, and my job is sponsoring a trip to the beach for the girls in my department, so just see me try not to drink alcohol and not have them notice when I’m not sure I’m expecting yet or not! “I’m trying to be more healthy” and “I don’t want to get too dehydrated after being in the sun” aren’t going to cut it and I know it. It shouldn’t really matter: I don’t succumb to social pressure very easily anyway, but the conversation will be incredibly annoying. How increasingly frustrating. Of course I have only told my best friend that we are trying. I spoke with a girl who had been trying 4 years and she is 32. Whatever step we’re at when I’m 32, I’ll add a sub-step of ADOPTION. I’m just anxious and excited at the prospect of our own child. We have a rock solid relationship and decent income, though not really stable yet. I don’t want to wait forever. Anyway, I guess it’ll only happen when God knows it’s best for us and said child. No matter what I say or do it isn’t in my hands for the most part.

Haven’t reached 30 yet so I’m hoping I didn’t wait too long to start trying. Just need some encouragement ‘cause it’s really frustrating when my friends have 2-4 kids without much ‘effort’. I no longer engage in casual drinking, always eat healthy, exercise off and on thru the week and take vitamins. I hate the waiting… thank God for my supportive husband!