Find a place I can consider home permanently

Thanks Emerson. Wise but more Taoist than I have been able to achieve. Had to cancel trip to see my friend… or at least delay it. Been looking at places halfway between there and here for more mild weather. Doesnt’ matter anyway. Won’t be moving in the next 6 months or maybe 3 years! Ugh. Hating capitalism right now. Or maybe its from being born into a very intelligent, very stubborn, very BROKE family. Tonight I’m having some trouble staying positive. Got a feeling of just being tired. I don’t have a ‘home’ and that’s all fine and good, if it weren’t for the feeling that I actually do, I just haven’t been there yet.

We are taking a trip to visit my friend next month and check out the area while we are there. I am in an impasse with this goal. I need to be away from our families, but I don’t want to be THAT far away so we can still visit. 300-600 miles at the most- just far enough so they don’t drive up to visit unannounced. Unfortunately that leaves very few options because I dislike all the states neighboring the one our families live in. I just don’t know what criteria I need to be using at this point. Job, landscape, local things to do, family proximity, friends, weather, what’s most important? I can really buy a farm anywhere and find nice land. I have the itch to just go somewhere new. And I realize this may be all futile because I may be stuck here for more years than I hope. I am searching as much as possible for places that pique my interest online so hopefully we can take a trip there and check it out. That would wind up being wasteful though if it turned out I had to follow my current career path- job openings are sparse. But I know I can make my farm work for us and provide some income once we get it and get things going. So eventually it wouldn’t be a problem, it’s just in the mean time survival.

No luck with job- not the best market right now anyway. Realized I may not get a raise I was promised at current job. I’m trying to be smart and not impulsive in this move. I think the best thing is to stick it out at current job one more year- raise or not- get a truck and a good savings. Focus on travel as much as possible while trying to save (oxymoron) to explore possible ‘home towns’. Furthermore, if you’ve read my list you’ll see find new career. I am shocked at how little the medical community CARES about patient care and rather more about patient numbers ($$). Making money isn’t the bad thing- it becomes bad when you’d rather do a test on a patient anyway even though they haven’t been properly prepped for the test (off meds, NPO, etc), therefore making the results of the test inaccurate. I’m in this field because I LIKE to help people. I can’t continue to watch it and changing it is a daily battle. Its like working at an animal shelter: want to help but can’t stand to see the reality of what actually happens while you only make life better for a few. Granted people get mildly more concern than animals… why cant we just have the utmost respect for LIFE in itself? Anyway. Need to be shopping for new line of work too. I think that will depend on where we decide to move.
I love moving. It’s so exciting the first year really getting to know the area and people. Discovering all the stuff there is to do- and we have found fun stuff in REALLY boring towns. I know I repeat my intentions here quite a bit but the idea is to get things off your chest and re-focus on your goals. I am steadily trudging toward mine and I’m still pretty pleased despite all the detours!

My best friend has asked if I’d consider moving to the area where she lives (about 1200 miles away) and I would, though it’s VERY cold there, I would like to be closer to her. I just found a job in my field in a neighboring town and applied for it. Here’s hoping! At least it’s somewhere new! I’m still keeping my eye out for other attractive places, but I’m putting actions to the words, so that’s good. Nothing can happen if you don’t DO anything.

I am pretty certain the place where I now live is NOT the place for me to stay. I will stay long enough to get my feet under me, then move on. Our little vacations will double as scouting expeditions for potential future hometowns.

Don’t ask this question to someone who has moved every 1-5 years of her life! I’m from the south, ok??? BUT people IN the south rarely move, so this is not a satisfactory or pleasant answer for them, apparently. I don’t care anymore. I love moving. But I do need a ‘homebase’ that i’m proud of and I really don’t feel that I have it. I don’t particularly like the towns my family live in- they don’t describe me at all- so I can’t use that. I haven’t lived in my current locale for very long so I can’t use that! I don’t have a regional accent and I lived in different states and towns during different important times in my life. I’m not certain yet if I will be in this current place a long time or not: I think this is the cause of this entry. I just want to get to a place that I feel most at home in and be “from” there. Maybe it’s here; not sure yet. There is only so much of life that you have to find a ‘place’, after that you’re just floating. I’d be happy floating but I want to give stability a good shot while I can.