have self-confidence

I’m feeling decent about myself. I think I’m fat as a walrus, but not as hideous looking as one. I’m not a dumbass, but not another Einstein either..I’m at a happy median with that for the most part.
It works..

I felt rather good about myself today..well, until I got into my brother’s car..when he was picking me up. He had a bunch of friends in his car. They like gave me weird looks, I look rather strange and they’re all wiggerish losers. So, why should I care if they looked at me as if I were absolutely nothing? o_O
Yeah. Yeah. I don’t..

Secretely I do..NO! I don’t. Rawr. Kill the negative thoughts.

Overall I felt pretty confident today.

I’ve been waking up earlier for school every day to get ready. I’ve been wearing hardly any make up. I’m on the verge of changing my style. I’m repairing my hair, trying to, at least.
I’m just going to be completely me. What I don’t like, I’m changing. I’m starting to improve.

My confidence as of now is so low. I was cheated on and I feel like all my pride was ripped from me. Not just because I was cheated on, just I don’t know..he helped me out so much boosting my self esteem and when the one person that helped me so much with it, did this horrible thing, acted like such a jerk to me and seemed bored of me..it’s sort of hard to keep your self esteem even existant. Going to try to wake up early tomorrow and get ready for school. I want my ex to notice me. I want to look better, I’ll likely have a bit more confidence..at least momentarily..

I wore tight pants today. It’s amazing for me. I mean, not wearing pants that easily have the capability of falling down past my ass. That actually happened few weeks ago. I got out of my aunt’s vehicle in front my home..I didn’t have time to grab a belt that day and next thing I knew-there my pants laid at my knees. On the brighter note-at least you couldn’t see my undies because my shirt was too long. : D
Anyways, my boyfriend loved the pants..They fit. It took me over a freaking hour to decide if I would wear them or not. It made me feel sort of good..I looked decent in them.
Today, I also got some pictures developed of mainly my boyfriend and I. I glazed upon a select few of the many photos and saw this pretty, quite thin, happy girl. I knew it was me, obviously, but it was so freaking strange. I had trouble believing that’s really me. Eventually perhaps, I hope I will
view myself like that when I look in the mirror.
I’m making progress towards my goal though, Today was the best I’ve felt about myself as far back as I am able to recall..

I need to force myself believe compliments people give me..
Today, another positive thing about myself- I’m can be really sweet.
I’m starting to gather a new wardrobe..All my clothes are really baggy because I’m more confident when I wear clothes that are huge on me. Though, I think if I wore clothes that actually fit me, I’d be more confident after a while..

I need to learn to actually believe in myself. I need to stop thinking so negatively.
First thing to start helping myself feel more confident, I’m going to write one positive thing about myself everyday..
-I’m a pretty funny person.