quit saying I'm sorry

At my new job I work with this girl who apoligizes more than I do! She is the sweetest thing, and she actually makes me think that saying you’re sorry all the time isn’t that bad. I mean, Yes, it would be good to not say I’m sorry, when I haven’t really done anything to be sorry for. Still, meeting this other girl has shown me that it’s not really the most awful habit in the world! : )

I am feeling grumpy today! I had an awesome weekend. I managed to see lots of people when I was back home for Easter…so I was quite happy. Then I get this lovely email from my friend saying that she found out (it was no secret I assure you) that a friend of hers and I were chatting about how we both didn’t really like her when we first met her. The context of the story is that this person didn’t really know anyone other than my friend. He was out with a group of friends that this girl and I share. I was trying to make him feel comfortable by chatting with him because she was mostly off with other people. One of the subjects that came up was the fact that he didn’t really like her when he first met her, which was funny to me because I hadn’t either. Funny in the sense that we both really care about her now, and I just thought it was funny how two people who are really close with her, didn’t hit it off with her. Anyway, she is super mad, doesn’t call me to met up with me when she said she would, and then instead sends me a nasty email saying that she is questioning her friendships with both of us. She has already decided to cut off the other person, and she is debating on me. So I apologize because I do genuinely feel bad to have hurt her feelings, but at the same time am really taken back by the fact that she could so quickly write me off. I have been friends with this girl for a long time, and have been with her through a lot. So I also told her that maybe she is right about me not being a good enough friend and she should write me off. I mean why should I beg someone that doesn’t think I offer them enough to be friends with me, which is what I think she wants. But at the same time, since I was in the wrong perhaps it is my job to beg forgiveness. I hate conflict! Boo!

I just don’t think this one is going to happen. I have made little to no progress! If I was a dinosaur I would be an “imsorrysaurus”! : (

It’s like I have the “I’m sorry” disease…I can’t even help myself sometimes. I have been aware of this problem since my music teacher (a million years ago) actually clipped an article on people who say they are sorry to often out of the newspaper to give to me. The thing is, if I am sorry that I am constantly sorry maybe there isn’t any hope for me…