Proud On My Own is doing 31 things including…

make the next couple of years COUNT

2 cheers

Proud On My Own has written 3 entries about this goal

much, much harder than I'd anticipated 5 months ago

My husband’s been gone since November. It’s been a damn long cold bleak time without him here. He’s my best friend and I miss him terribly, but it’s more than that.

I haven’t made the most of this time away from him and now I’ve decided to join him where he is training, earlier than we’d planned for me to. In some ways I’m disappointed in myself.

I wanted to see what I was made of and really do things for myself and others while he was gone. I got off to a good start, but at some point sort of stopped striving and choosing to face the pain, feel the fear and then press on through it.

Instead I’ve anesthetized myself with food, beer, sleep, T.V etc. The depression and bleakness just really got to me. Bad timing in all things to do with my husband, and my health, seems to have conspired against me at every turn.

After my last visit with him during his graduation from Basic and Infantry Training, it dawned on me how different he is now and always will be, for having gone through all this training, and time away.

So I spend my life using myself and my energy totally UP each day, at a job I love with people I respect and enjoy working with. However I leave there and go home to vegetate alone until the next morning when I ALWAYS slightly oversleep and wake to look at the clock and exclaim, “crap!” Then I do it all again. That’s pretty much my life.

Now I am watching my boss and my teaching team interview someone to take my place next year. I’m hugging my mom as she cries and tells me she doesn’t want me to leave. I’m anticipating being an over-the-phone Grandma to my grandson and his sibling-to-be.

I guess I’m trying to say that, as much as I need to be with my husband, I am resentful and angry at pulling up roots and leaving my life behind to move 1,156 miles from here.

I’ve gained so much weight and feel awful most of the time. I’ve gotta do something differently. This isn’t working.



Thought of some other things I don't (didn't) do 1 year ago

clean out the cage of the Bearded Dragon. That aggressive lizard scares me! Guess I’ll be getting rid of him when Hubby leaves!

Change light bulbs… Dumb, huh? Well, I changed a light bulb in the hall ceiling yesterday. Maybe I DON’T have blonde roots, after all! Seriously, I have a mild fear of electricity, so it always seemed easier to get Hubby to do it. Know what? It was actually easier to just do it myself and have it done, than to go interrupt what he’s doing, ask him, then wait til he gets to it!



for ME, not "us" 1 year ago

...I mean, when Hubby begins his military training. I can do pretty much anything I want, within reason. WHAT do I want to do?

Start a bookclub?
Foster a pair of school-age siblings?
Foster a service dog?
Do some kind of Spanish immersion program?
Get a cat?
Work on a master’s degree or a certificate in something interesting?
Redecorate?
Watch chick flicks?
Hog the whole bed and sleep slantwise, if I want to?
Be good to myself without him here to see if I am or not?
THROW myself totally into my job (WHEN I get one)?
Treat myself to my favorite foods that he’s not so crazy about; hummus, shrimp, artichokes, brussel sprouts, Long John Silvers (unhealthy, but okay occasionally, right)?
Make and KEEP dates with friends to run or hike?
Get involved in church again?

I’m trying to see this as a gift of time. However, I’m a little overdependant on him. There are certain things I don’t do now that I guess I’ll have to, when he’s gone….

like

clean up dog vomit.
dead animal removal
I won’t watch really scary stuff if he’s not home. Reading it is okay, though.
pay the bills (He’s an engineer – He has this SYSTEM, you see)
lift heavy stuff
do electronic stuff with cords and plugs
deal with credit cards (he switches balances around to get the lowest rate, constantly.
air up my tires.
check my oil.
use the weedeater
keep up with general outdoorsy chores (I don’t mind mowing, however).

One thing I know is I really do want to stay living this house if at all possible.

I’m babbling. I’ll stop now.



Proud On My Own has gotten 2 cheers on this goal.

 

I want to: