have a great attitude

Someone at school today said I looked sad. Instead of saying, “Yeah, I am a little.” and accepting this person’s kindness, I lied about how I’m just tired and I’m doing fine – REALLY (big, BIG smile!). Not sure how convincing I was (to her or to me?), but I use a lot of energy just pretending to be all perky and happy. It’s okay to be sad, in a sad situation. I would be the first to accept it in another person. I’ll try to offer myself that same acceptance. If I’m sad, it’s okay. It’s not forever.

I am enjoying the “here and now” again, instead of letting fear, regret, dread, or resentment rob me of my joy.

I need to utilize and appreciate what I have in my life right now. I’m living with regrets from my past and dread for the future… like I don’t already know better than to do this kinda crap. I’m psyching myself out and I need to stop it.

Seems like I’d be eager to enjoy my time with my husband while he’s here, but I don’t. Maybe when I’m not so hormonal I’ll do better. Being depressed always makes me want to apologize to him. I feel guilty about it.

Actually, I’m not depressed. If I were I wouldn’t have hope that things’ll get better, which I do. I think I’m just processing some big changes.

I truly believe that I can change my life, if I can first change my attitude.