lose 5 kilos

even though I’m overeating like crazy these days, especially during the evenings when I’m not supposed to eat at all.
I think there are two reasons for it. First, I’ve more or less eliminated juice, chocolate and nuts from my diet because of my nickel allergy. All those three things are great favorites of mine, and of course high in calories.
And most importantly, I’m doing about 3 times more walking all of a sudden. Sometimes I feel like all I do all day is walk. I used to drive the poodles to the dogsitter every morning, and take the subway to work from there. Now that Cora can be home alone, I walk to work and back, which gives a total of 40 minutes of fast walking every day. Plus, I have had the luxury of having someone walk my dogs during the day, so I just walked them for an hour every evning and that was it. Now I have to do all the dogwalking myself. I aim for 2,5 hours every day to keep Cora reasonably tired and happy, sometimes it’s a bit less but always more than 2 hours. Now not all of that is efficient walking of course, we often just go to a park and I throw sticks and tennis balls for Cora and don’t move that much myself. But because Cora is scared of other dogs, it’s quite stressful to be in parks, so now I more and more often take her to the forest instead, even though that means we spend quite a bit of time in the car. Better exercise for the both of us, and more relaxing since there are no other dogs around most of the time.

If I could just stop the stupid overeating in the evenings, the 3 remaining kilos would probably come off in no time at all. I’m not even hungry most of the time, I just eat because I’m stressed or tired or frustrated or bored, or just out of habit really. And it’s a very, very hard habit to break. But I really need to do it!

2 kilos is brilliant progress though, quite happy with that!

I’ve just tried to do some clothes shopping. Wow, that was depressing. I tried on a pair of jeans one size bigger than I have been wearing up until now, and even a size bigger was tight. Argh!
I’ve put on about 5 kilos in the last year or so. They need to go. I can’t let this happen to me, I worked way to hard to lose weight. I am very far from being my old weight of course, I lost more than 25 kilos. Still, after all that hard work, I felt great about how I looked, I want that feeling back.
It’s not strange at all that I have gained weight of course, I am very much an emotional eater, and depression makes me eat. Sometimes I eat things in the evenings I don’t even particularly like, just to eat.
This must stop. Must get to work on the 5 kilos, this instant.

at all. I haven’t been on the scales for a while, but I know it wouldn’t be good news. There are three main reasons:
- My new, favorite excuse: that chocolate isn’t really unhealthy as long as it’s dark, fairtrade and organic (really, not supporting fair trade chocolate would just be mean!)Today I also found some lovely organic crisps, which didn’t help things.
- My new work environment. The weekend and culture journalists used to sit together, but in our new office, the weekend section is much more separated from everyone else. And if it wasn’t for hiccup, it would be great, nice people and a nice room. But, the lovely guy next to me keeps bringing cake, chocolate, cookies and other treats to work, and leaves it out for everyone. He also makes sure there is always chocolate in our fridge, in case anyone is feeling low. Hiccup and the two other weekend journalists usually say politely no thanks, but the weekend editor and I throw ourselves at all the treats like hungry wolves. The guy next to me had a chocolate advent calendar lying around as well, and left for a few days. The point of those things is of course to eat one treat a day, but when he came back, it was empty, the editor had eaten all the chocolate and I took all the fudge. I’m glad I’m not the only one with no self control, but it’s very, very bad for my weight. Especially because I tend to fall into the trap of thinking “oh, well, I’ve already had chocolate today, so this day is ruined as far as my diet goes. I’ll get back on track tomorrow”. Must find some self discipline.
- The extreme stress lately, which leaves me exhausted and with no energy to resist anything.

Christmas is not the time to turn this around though. So my goal now is to try to eat christmas treats in reasonable moderation, and then seriously get back on track after christmas.

one kilo gone! When I started trying to lose weight, I actually gained some, which was incredibly demotivating. But now I’ve lost that again, plus one kilo. It’s a bit mysteriuos really, I didn’t think I was doing that well, but it’s the kind of mystery I definitely don’t mind! Now I’m aiming for another half kilo by this time next week.

I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago, about 50 pounds, and I loved my new weight. But now I`m gaining weight quite fast, to the point where clothes that fit me a few months ago simply don`t fit me at all anymore. It`s depressing. I`m still very far away from the weight I used to be at my heaviest, but I need to turn this bad cycle around and get back in shape.
I know the reasons I`m gaining weight, that is a start. Partly, I`m a huge emotional eater. And life has been seriously difficult lately, so I try to find comfort in eating, too often unhealthy stuff. And, I`m exhausted. Which means partly that I have no energy left to resist temptation. And partly that I have no energy to do much in the evenings, I just collapse in front of the TV, watch things I`m half interested in, and eat.
But I`m just adding to my problems here, adding worrying about my weight to all the other worries. I have to seriously work on getting back on track. My goal is to lose one kilo the first week, to get me going, and then half a kilo per week after that. I need to stop eating after 8pm, eat healthier, limit crisps and other yummy calorie bombs to one day a week, and get better at resisting the small every day temptations. And, I seriously need to stop comparing myself to others. At the moment, my energy and time to exercise is limited. And then I look at other peoples exercise goals here for instance, and my plans to work a little bit more exercise into my everyday life seems just quite pathetic in comparison. That doesn`t get me anywhere though, other people have other challenges in their lives, I need to just do this on my own, and not compare what I manage to do in the middle of all my troubles these days to what others do.
Right. Starting today, no crisps tonight even though it is saturday, because I had some yesterday.