Get off the couch and back into shape.

Workout: 4.5 miles
Time: 56 min.

Notes and Observations: Walked most of this, ran some of it. My left knee is at this very point reminding me that fat people should not run. Lefty as I like to call him says that at this point the possible exceptions to this would involve small children and a burning building.

Lefty also noted that I need to start pushing some weights. I hate it when he is right..errr left… you know what I mean.

workout: 4miles
time: who cares.

Workout: Neighborhood walk. 4 miles

time: 70min.

Notes and Observations: Never noticed the construction but I’m pretty sure they increased the incline and length of that one hill on Main Street.

Other than that not much going on at 7:30 in lovely Lees Summit. I did stop and listen to the Latino brick layers singing in Spanish. No idea what they were saying but very beautiful.

Okay, so it really more like day 25. But ones perception is their reality. The fact is the weather has been crap here the last two weeks and well…Pfffffffffffff!

Workout: Larry Mattenon Memorial Nature Trail 2.75 miles.

Time: Not that it matters but about 40min. It was just nice to get out of the house and go for a walk in the woods.

Notes and Observations: Bad mojo. I used to go walking out here with a girl I used to work with and she said the place freaked her out. But I once ate a M&M off the floor and that freaked her out so. The point is I never really got what she was talking about, until today. We had 250 acres of woods below our house as a kid, I grew up camping, hunting and fishing, I’m 200+ pounds and have frontal lobes. I’m very, very , comfortable being alone in the woods. It’s not that. Indian burial ground? Civil War battle ground? No idea but some bad mojo is floating around there.

My vertical leap is crap. But I’m pretty sure I set the record for the “Lateral Leap” if there is such a thing. Who knew all it took was a small red lizard moving very quickly off the trail and through some dead leaves! Cold blooded little bastard!

Passed 4 teenagers, they were about 13 or 14, two guys and two girls. The one girl was sort of tall and gangley, braces,not quite sure what to do with her curly red hair and when she talked it sounded like she was singing. Think the guy she was with has any idea what she is going to blossom into over the next 3 years? Think she will still be talking to him?

Also saw two drunk guys with fishing poles looking for the lake. Ummm, Its only one of the largest bodies of water in Jackson County.

Day 6: Birthday. It’s the 11th comandment, thou shall not sweat on thy birthday.

I did stick to the diet though, well that is if Fish and Chips, two pints of Guinness, a Black and Tan and bread pudding with real whipped cream are on my diet. Ever in Kansas City go to O’Dowds. Great diet food!

Oh, and by the way, I suck!

Workout : Was going to be my first resistance workout but, well I just didn’t wanna. Did the Burr Oak hiking trail instead.

Time: Little over a hour, forgot to start my watch.

Notes and Observations. The trail I went on is pretty much a hill. Note to self. Start at the bottom, walk up when your not tired and coast on the way down. Whew!

Rest day. No workout and ate whatever I wanted. Ahhhh!

Workout: Aerobic Saturday . Long hike at “The Meadow”. How long? No idea, couple of hours.

Notes and Observations: Saw 6 deer, 7 turkey, 3 redtail hawks and 4 people on horseback.

These were people who just owned horses. Not “horse people”. Whats the difference you ask. We used to own horses, and I used to work at a stable when I was in high school. I’ll try and explain.

“Horse people” have horses that cost more than the car your driving. In fact they buy cars just to haul their horses around. Usually something like a Cadillac Escalade, pulling a air conditioned trailer. People who own horses usually haul them about in a trailer pulled by a old Chevy Pickup.

“Horse people” take wine and cheese when they go riding. People who own horses take a turkey sandwich wrapped in wax paper and a 2 liter of Mountain Dew.

“Horse People” wear tan tight pants, pressed white shirts, and cute little helments when they go riding. People who own horses wear Wrangler jeans, a old flannel shirt left over from their grung days and a beat up old Resistol cowboy hat.

I think your getting the idea. Don’t get me wrong, “Horse People” are nice folks. Mostly… Just never get yourself in the position where you literally have to shovel their horse shite. And if you do find yourself in that position, never, repeat, never. Date one of their daughters!

Todays Workout: LSD @ neighborhood route. 3.75 miles

Time:1:03. Excuse of the day… This included giving directions to a nice elderly couple who wished me happy Easter.

According to my handy dandy little pedometer I burned 420 calories. I’m sure thats spot on because I did spend 15 bucks on it a couple of years ago.

Notes and Observations: Home owners, would it kill you to trim your frickin trees!

Also the guy I spoke to last year about the peice of rebar sticking out of his sidewalk. You know the one I tripped on and tore a hole in a new pair of running shoes… Still there and yes I tripped again this time all the way to the ground but no hole in my new sneaks.

I’m going over there in the morning with a hack saw before some kid gets a lifetime limp from that damn thing!

Some advice: On this route I walk by a dance studio with 10 foot windows in the front giving a pretty clear view of anyone thats in there dancing,

My question… Whats is a appropriate amount of time to look at the age 20 something women in their very tight, revealing dance attire?

a) 0 seconds. Eyes front and center mister!

b) 3 seconds, just get a glimps and look away. Like looking at the Sun.

c) 10 seconds. Full head turn, get a good look and go about my business.

d) Fling myself against the glass and start howling?

Let me know.

Todays Workout: LSD @ Longview Lake Bike Trail.

Its not what you think. Long Steady Distance. Walked 4+ miles.

Time: 1:08. In my defense this included making friends with a black lab puppy and crossing a swamp to get to the trail. Also I’ve done nothing the last three months but sit on my butt and stress eat.

Rest of the week will be more of the same, just to get the old bod used to moving again.

Diet: Looks like I’m going to get 4 small meals in today. This is a change from my two big meals a day and weird getting back to. I think the only thing I’ll miss not eating or drinking is Coke! I’ve lived off this stuff for the last three months.

Stuff I saw on my walk: A mallard,a crane, three black labs, a pit bull who really should have been on a leash, a strange man with a fishing pole who wanted to talk about crows.

And maybe a couple having a secret meeting. He showed up, circled the parking lot and then left. She drove in, backed into a parking spot and looked about slouched down in the seat. He came back and they both left in his car.

Rookies! What you do is one of you parks at the south end of a large shopping mall, the other enters from the north leaving their car there. Walking the length of the mall and then…

Ummm… This is what I’ve heard, I really have no idea if this works….Ummm….yeah.