wear less makeup

just yet! The hair needs to be dyed then we will see if it makes a difference to my appearance or, more to the point, my pale complexion. ahhh fingers crossed!

I’d probably be able to do this if it wasn’t for my SUPER fair skin! I tan to the point where sometimes I get looks in the street or snide comments from people I overhear, which doesn’t particularly do much for my self-confidence. I wish I could just stop it, but it’s like an addiction; I worry about my skin to the point where it stops me from living my life as I’m too busy worrying about my appearance. To be honest I think I’ve got BDD (body dysmorphic disorder)..in a nutshell it’s someone who is extremely critical of their self-image despite the fact there may be no noticeable disfigurement.

I’ve tryed going out with less make-up ie. less eyeliner, mascara and fake tan, which may I add, is a HUGE achievement for me! Everyone told me how fresh and natural I looked, but I just couldn’t get it right today and ended up putting tons of foundation on to cover my ‘imperfections’=I ended up looking orange…well less than usual, but still! I just don’t know how I’m going to do this and feel pretty ;(

I really do need to be comfortable in my own skin before I even come close to doing this. It’s such a shame that I can’t feel confident without it! It’s become such a problem; sometimes I don’t even feel like leaving the house because of it :( I cover up my ‘flaws’ with masses of make-up and fake tan, but I know deep down it’s just a mask to hide my insecurities. I really wish I could find the confidence to do this goal, but it needs to come from within and I don’t feel beautiful; hence it’s pretty difficult to achieve!